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Re : Lost..

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 10:42 pm
by wrennie
Jane, thinking of you. I agree, you have had great strides forward and should be proud of yourself. Its not easy and things will always bring us back to our grief. Be gentle with yourself and take deep breaths.hugs

Re : Lost..

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 07:47 pm
by love_the_daschies
Jane,

my loss occurred after yours - but when I was experiencing the horror in the hospital - knowing I was going to deliver my son to never take a breath - I went and read through all of your posts (yes I did this to a lot of you!). After reading them - your words gave me a sense of comfort in a way. Like things were going to be horrid, there would be pain, but then there were bright spots in your posts too. Happy days with Penny's memory .Then you graduated and got a job - life changed so much - but you never lost the connection you had with Penny. Your life went on - but you didn't "get over her" as I was so scared would happen.

Bottom line was that your posts showed me that life would continue - and my memory did not need to fade. I AM a mother - you ARE a mother and unfortunately these objects are really a place where a lot of our memories are centered around.

I am sorry you had to deal with that.

I hope my words came out right - it is so hard to find the right words - but I really appreciate being able to follow your journey through grief while still holding Penny by your side - you gave me a lot of hope and strength.

Re : Lost..

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 05:24 pm
by brianned5
I'm thinking of you, we walk such a rocky path since our babies passed away. I feel the same way about my car. Or, I'll look at a piece of paper or a silly item and think this thing has been on earth longer than my baby was. I'm super sensitive too.

Re : Lost..

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 04:37 pm
by annes
((Jane)) So sorry you are having such a difficult time. I wish I had something profound to say, I just don't. You are doing a great job, you have been through so much and are going through a lot with your marital problems. Be gentle with yourself.

Re : Lost..

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 09:20 am
by amanda
Jane -
Just wanted to say that I think of you often. I am so proud of you for graduating nursing school - I know how emotionally draining that was for you but you did it!

I'm also so sorry to hear about your marriage. Sometimes it's the littlest (or biggest) things that come rushing back and then...

Thinking of you today.

Re : Lost..

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 09:09 am
by jsu_work
thankyou hugs back. When I don't know what to do. You all are here to remind me that it's not all dark and murky.

Re : Lost..

Posted: Tue Dec 01, 2009 00:55 am
by rosemary
Jane, sometimes those connections really do mean a lot to us. The memories that you have of Penny will always be there, and close to your heart. And as Fiona said, your successes are amazing. You are in my thoughts (((HUGS)))

Re : Lost..

Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 11:36 pm
by fiona
I'm so sorry. Grief is incredibly draining - and the hypersensitivity just accentuates it. I think your successes are amazing - they show such strength and courage.

Take care.

Lost..

Posted: Mon Nov 30, 2009 06:57 pm
by jsu_work
It's not quite two years. Although I've had quite a few successes. I graduated nursing school. Landed nursing job. I am so tired of being emotionally sensitive.
Last month before I went on a nice trip to Berkley springs, wv. I was in a crash. It was enough of a crash to dent my under carriage. No one was sited for the accident but I was listed at fault on the insurance write up. Because of the question of taking out the engine and putting it back in. the company called my car a loss.
That car was the car I was driving when I was pregnant. The car was the car when DH who may be my D exH soon were still on good terms. That was the car that I would sit in and read stories to my belly. That car was also the car that I had felt her presence when I lost her.
I've never felt so connected to a car and felt the trouble of letting go of that car. It took about a month for me to sign the paperwork. I just did that today. I feel like I got lost again in that murkish water of depression.
I'm doing exercises like reading books to take my mind off of it and go grocery shopping. I really miss those times and the places that my car would remind me of.