Didn't know what to do...

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : Didn't know what to do...

Postby heatherbbb » Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:27 pm

Sarah - I am so sorry you had to go through that!!

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Re : Didn't know what to do...

Postby rosemary » Tue Feb 09, 2010 07:15 pm

Wow Sarah..I don't know that I could have handled it any differently...I am sorry that you had to deal with that at all. (((HUGS)))

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Re : Didn't know what to do...

Postby l412angel » Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:21 am

I know its such a horrid thing to have to go through! :( I can relate!

I am a hair stylist and on saturday I had a client (who has not seen me since august) tell me congrats and asked how the baby is doing. It was hard but I just kept telling myself what you did "they do not know" and no one knows this pain unless they have to go through it themselves.

We can't expect everyone to know what "triggers" us to become upset. I got mad at another client for saying "I had the worst christmas ever" I asked her "omg what happened" and she replied "My kids do not believe in Santa anymore" (THIS CLIENT KNEW WHAT HAD HAPPENED WITH MY DAUGHTER TOO!!!)

We just have to assume that people are just plain stupid. Many people dont know that if you have nothing to say or nothing good to say for that matter...dont say anything at all!


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Re : Didn't know what to do...

Postby annes » Tue Feb 09, 2010 09:18 am

Sarah, I honestly don't know how you deal with that kind of situation. I find it very hard to see those kind of images as well. I think sometimes people go for the "shock you into action" type campaigns, which I am not a fan of. You handled the situation in the way that was right for you at the time. Don't beat yourself up.

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Didn't know what to do...

Postby shierman » Tue Feb 09, 2010 08:46 am

Yesterday I was watching a video- a historical perspective on hunger- for work. It was during a meeting in which we were supposed to begin the planning process for a new outreach program. Anyway, there were three of us in the room- one of my staff and the gentleman from the state who was showing the video. There is a scene in the video that shows a baby dying from malnutrition and I mean literally dying. They are resuscitating the baby and then they stop and the baby dies. I froze. I couldn't breathe, couldn't move, just froze. It was like ripping the bandaid off of a wound- I couldn't do anything but remember my precious Gabriel and think about about that horrible moment of his death.

I think my staff person knew what was going on in my head, but the guy from the state was oblivious. And I didn't say a thing. At the time I kept thinking "He doesn't know, it's not his fault." Now I'm so mad at myself for not chewing him out about how inappropriate that was. I don't understand why they have to include such images for shock value- particularly when most people viewing the documentary are already familiar with the issue. I'm hurt, extremely angry, and still at a loss as to how I could have handled that differently.

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