I'm very sorry for the loss of your precious baby. I know when I was pregnant with my first, even though I was in Belgium I still saw an OB DR. She totally did not take my care seriously. I warned them that my mother had had pe. She didn't look for it and blew off all the symptoms. It took the military drs jumping up and down about it. I ended up getting severe pe and nearly died. I ended up in the ICU room on L&D. I stayed there for 4 days. Fortunately it was just me that was affected and not Kirsten. I stayed in the hospital for 10 days. When I did get really really sick, my ob went on vacation. Yep admitted me and dumped me into the care of those on call. I spent a lot of years being angry about that. Honestly, now that I think about it, I think I got the best care I could after I was dumped onto the oncall drs hands. God knows what would have happened if she had stayed on my case since she was not taking me seriously.
Even after that. When I went to my first ob appt with Sara (my second) when we were back in the US, my practice if you are new sets you up with a midwife. Can you believe she marked me low risk? Even with a history of severe pe and premature delivery? My second appt at 9 weeks, I saw a different midwife in the practice. She immediately said we can't see you, you must see the dr only and passed me off to him. I was kind of upset when she refused to even touch me. However, best decision EVER. She even walked me up to the appt counter and told them I was to only see my ob. Ever since then (almost 6 years now), I only see my ob. I do not and will not see the midwives. They are nice and I have nothing against them, but I am a high risk patient. Even not pregnant, I have gyn issues. So I only see my ob. He takes me VERY seriously. When I got pregnant with Cate and made my first appt, no midwife appt. I was immediately set up with my ob PERIOD.
I know you are in the UK and things are a bit different. I would really really really push to get into a dr. I know they have peris. Fiona can explain it better than I can. I do know in Belgium the Chief of OB and perinatology were consulted and the Chief of OB was actually called in for my case according to the medical records.
I just think it really depends on the drs and midwives. My sister when she was pregnant told her ob about me and severe pe and our mom. Her dr watched her like a hawk. She didn't get it and went 5 days overdue. For most drs (especially midwives), will never see a severe case of pe that needs immediate delivery. Less than 6-8% of pregnancies are affected by pe. Only about 1% of that 6-8% are severe.
I'm sorry you had to find your way here. You will find a bunch of great women that will support you!