by naomihope427 (247 Posts), Sun Feb 28, 2010 12:29 am
I am so very sorry your best friend made those comments to you. I was stunned yet, I've heard those comments to me almost on a daily basis. And I choose to distance myself or not talk to them. BUT being this is your best friend, I read what others wrote, and I think they had some really good ideas. I know, whenever I hurt I sometimes text and tell my best friend, I feel as if she may be "annoyed" with it in a way but doesn't say or show it. She always responds as "you're a beautiful mom with so much love & I just wish there was more I can do to help". I remember shortly after losing Naomi, my best friends parents (were both 22, both same birthdays) and they paid for a hotel for her & I for 2 nights to just "be away" . It was hard, emotional, but I thought it was very sweet of them. I also have been told actually just recently by my best friends mom that my facebook posts were depressing and depressing to others and that not many people wanna read that. I took offense to that. I also have been told by others about my facebook posts and things like that, then I thought maybe I shouldn't b posting my heart on facebook, yet I needed that "support" in a way. It HURTS and people don't understand, only those who have been or are going through it. I remember 2 or 3 days after Naomi's funeral, my uncle came down for it from PA, and said "im not going to lie to you, you're going to have a long road ahead of you, it aint easy". I "liked" that in a way. He wasn't sugar coating it and he was honest and he also told me ill be told some horrible things, and I remember asking him what do I say when people ask me how are you ? He said you tel them "no im not okay" he said you don't have to hide your feelings. He has been through it and lives with it daily, its been 20 years since he lost his 9 year old son. I remmeber my brother & sister saying oh look at uncle so & so he lost his 9 year old, it could be worse Jill. I don't wanna hear that. Yes that's horrible but I lost my daughter, I feel as if people think "its just a baby". No it goes WAY beyong that as we know. Anyways sorry for rambling. I also wanna say you were so brave to go to your best friends baby shower. I know I couldn't have. I read your blogs all the time, you are amazing & always in my thoughts Laua!