first off, my son and i are two of the lucky ones. we survived. however im in the position your friend is in. my sister in law lost her sweet daughter at 36 weeks. no known cause. it has been almost a year and she is still mourning the lost of her angel. that is normal! at barely three months out if you were getting over it as they put it, ide think you needed to be hospitolized. she is showing remarakle calausness to you. my sister in law finaly had to cut people out of her life who didnt give her daughter Rayanne the respect, she deserves. that means sympathizing with you and grieving with you. it doesnt mean after a few monthes, going " we are tired of hearing about it, get over it" you are enduring the worst pain a mother could ever go through. you are doing an amazing job. i honestly think that most people feel that because my sil, and you lost your angels so soon that they werent really here and they dont matter. it truly pisses me off. you are a mommy and you are brokenhearted. if people in your life dont understand, then they dont need to be in your life. period. the fact that you went to her baby shower is oustanding! she should have known that it was so hard on you. my husband and i live out of state and when we took our son home to meet the family, i let my sil know that whenever she was up to seeing the baby it was ok. no pressure. if she had choosen not to, it would have been ok with me. when she held him she started to cry. i cried with her. give yourself time, and surround yourself with people who build you up. hugs mama.