Post Reply FAQ Members Login

2 years and some odd days..

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

2 years and some odd days..

Postby jsu_work » Mon Mar 01, 2010 03:32 am

"Crazy for loving you"
Dear Penelope,
Happy Belated Birthday.
I went to the ocean again to get "some" answers. As I predicted the answer for all of lifes unfairness from the ocean was roar, splish, Splash, Crash.. Over and over again in different sequences.
I've been listening to Patsy Cline recently and walking the beach. On your birthday I even put your name into the sand, played another version of somewhere over the rainbow, and cried a little. the hole in my life is still there without your physical presents, but I try to bring as much love into the world for you.
Sometimes my ideas are not as linear as I like. For your birthday I found a book by Penelope. It was all about belief in the person and all of that jazz. I found someone who could use it but the timing was off and or she had free will and said "No I don't want this." I took back that book and when I find it again, I'll place in your box until I know what to do with it. I'm trusting your guidance on that one little spirit. If you notice someone in need, you remind me and that book is as good as theirs.
My aunt that I visit whenever I need a quiet point has a little scare. The doctors are telling her to get an MRI for an unknown reason. She's has had cancer once and she isn't ready and worried about getting that done. I think the doctors realize how stubborn she is and that its a routine MRI but I'm doing what I can to get her to the doctor. and relax myself over it.
And as strange as this sounds I want to emphasize that I'm not crying as much. I see some hope through those murky clouds of memories. Sure there is that one song or those memories that catch me off gaurd. There are also those smiles.
I absolutely love the story where you kicked pounce across the room. I love the fact that I saw you blinking on one of the sonograms. I love the idea of giving you a sister or brother. On the two week visit for your birthday I just want you to know that although I only have letters and pictures and memories of you. I remember you.
You'll have a gravestone in the spring time.
I know there are other little ones who got the same rap as you. I hope your spirit lives on up there. I hope one day, we can share a spiritual meet up as it were. But until then I'm on this side of life for what I'm hoping is a lot longer dreaming up all the ways you would tell me No, nada, niet, non, nien....
amote y feliz compleanos.
Your momma
AKA Jane..
jsu_work
Registered User
 
Posts: 730
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2008 04:06 am

Re : 2 years and some odd days..

Postby rosemary » Fri Mar 12, 2010 05:47 pm

Thinking of you Jane, and your sweet Penny...many, many hugs!
User avatar
rosemary
Forum Moderator
 
Posts: 2358
Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 09:02 pm
Location: Central, PA

Re : 2 years and some odd days..

Postby jsu_work » Sat Mar 13, 2010 06:11 pm

Thanks
jsu_work
Registered User
 
Posts: 730
Joined: Wed Mar 05, 2008 04:06 am

Re : 2 years and some odd days..

Postby wrennie » Sun Mar 21, 2010 01:31 pm

hugs Jane!
wrennie
Registered User
 
Posts: 1019
Joined: Wed Dec 26, 2007 02:12 pm

Re : 2 years and some odd days..

Postby darateacher » Mon Mar 22, 2010 10:24 pm

Hugs to you, Jane!
darateacher
Registered User
 
Posts: 1699
Joined: Tue Feb 19, 2008 07:28 pm


Return to Grief and Loss

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 3 guests