what do you think?

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what do you think?

Postby klutsyone01 » Sun Mar 28, 2010 04:24 pm

hi, i had severe preeclampsia with my son but we both made it, however my sister in law lost her little girl. she was stillborn at 36 weeks. no known cause. i know that this forum is for mama that had pre e ect, however i feel that you moms could really help her. I often feel like no one really understands what she is going through and trying to cope with. that she need to talk to other mothers that truly understand, real empathy not sympathy. i want to bring this sight up to her but im not sure how. also im sot sure how the mothers here would react. any advice? my angel neices name is Rayanne.
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Re : what do you think?

Postby l412angel » Sun Mar 28, 2010 05:07 pm

So sorry abour your sister in law :( There are tons of mommies that have lost children that blog about their experience and to me its like my therapy...my website is listed below :)
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Re : what do you think?

Postby jules2 » Mon Mar 29, 2010 09:24 am

This is very thoughtful of you, though you are also maybe in a difficult position to help. My SIL had a baby girl just a few weeks after my daughter should have been born and I just cannot stand seeing them and their daughter, I feel so bitter about it all.

I also often feel no one really understands what I am going through, but there are a lot of websites for pregnancy loss and she might feel most empathy talking to other mothers who have lost a baby for "no known reason" (although I am sure that any group of women who have lost a baby for any reason would try to help, including those here). I know the UK websites but not the US ones - but there must surely be equivalent ones in the US?
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Re : what do you think?

Postby love_the_daschies » Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:47 am

We would absolutely be welcoming to speak with her. We may have all found each other through PE, but what bonded many of us is the loss experience. We would be happy to offer any words of support we can.

I also agree with Laura, the blog world may be easy for her to connect with as well. The night I delivered my son (he was too young to make it at 22 weeks), I stayed up all night reading loss blogs - the very first blogs I ever read. It was nice to see that someone else had had similar feelings, that I was grieving normally, and ultimatley some of these stories went on to have happy endings, some went on to never have a child and some were still waiting for the future to unfold. Plus the women I read about have had losses for all sorts of reasons.

I have an idea on how to approach the topic - but if I am overstepping my bounds I am very sorry. Laura (L412Angel) makes beautiful pictures of angel baby names with their meanings. Maybe you could connect with her through her blog website listed and have her make a picture for Rayanne - then you could pass the link on to your sister in law and allow her to proceed if she is comfortable. Just a suggestion.

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Re : what do you think?

Postby rebecca2 » Mon Mar 29, 2010 01:03 pm

I would also welcome her. Like Jamie said, what bonded many of us is the loss and not necessarily the PE. However if she is uncomfortable posting on this board, she might want to look at MISS.org. It is a group for parents that have lost a child, but they have specific boards for pregnancy and neonatal loss. I've never posted there so I don't know how active it is, but I attend a local MISS support group and it has been wonderful. The blogs are also a good idea. I don't have my own, but I do read others and it helps too.

I like Jamie's suggestion about you having a picture of Rayanne's name made. It means so much to me when someone else acknowledges my daughter's birth.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your niece. ((hugs))
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Re : what do you think?

Postby rosemary » Mon Mar 29, 2010 10:55 pm

Kim, your sister-in-law is very, very welcomed here. I am incredibly sorry for the loss of your niece. While I found this site in search of trying to understand PE...what I found (aside from invaluable information) was incredible support that helped me deal with my loss. She is very fortunate to have you for a sister-in-law....I am sure that your support means the world to her. You are both in my thoughts.
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