Show me the way to the hole...

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
Registered User
Posts: 895
Joined: Mon Oct 20, 2008 08:36 am

Re : Show me the way to the hole...

Postby kbunsey » Mon May 17, 2010 10:12 pm

I too would crawl into the hole with you. Although, I finally cried today after having a bunch of tears and emotions all stuck and balled up inside of me. I was feeling pretty icky, so that felt releasing at least. I don't have a lot to say - not much to suggest as May begins all our anniversaries. Just know that you are thought about and held close in heart.

Brianne, I'm so sorry your FIL says that. Yuck. Oh my. I'm sorry.

User avatar
Forum Moderator
Posts: 2360
Joined: Tue Sep 07, 2004 09:02 pm
Location: Central, PA

Re : Show me the way to the hole...

Postby rosemary » Mon May 10, 2010 06:25 pm heart goes out to you. Some people will never understand. Please know that you and your sweet Ella are in my thoughts today...(((HUGS)))

Registered User
Posts: 567
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 10:58 pm

Re : Show me the way to the hole...

Postby brianned5 » Mon May 10, 2010 02:44 pm

I get this all the time too. People assume that my grief is over now that I have another baby, then when they see me cry they act confused. My FIL introduced our 7 month old to his friends by saying, "This is my grandaughter, she replaces the one we lost a couple years ago." Kylie is irreplacable. I wish people could understand that.

Registered User
Posts: 151
Joined: Wed Mar 11, 2009 04:22 pm

Re : Show me the way to the hole...

Postby shierman » Mon May 10, 2010 01:16 pm

I think we have to make the hole into a cave... May 19th is my son Gabriel's angelversary, so I completely understand. And just because I have a beautiful, healthy son, does not mean that I am not grieving the loss of the other. Every day is a new day of grief and new challenges. I look at Tommy and can't help but miss Gabriel. They are not interchangeable and I wish other people understood that my grief has not subsided just because I have a son at home...

Oh, and did I mention I wanted to scream every time someone said "Happy First Mother's Day"???? People I made it clear to LAST Mother's Day that I was already a mother, not a mother-to-be actually said that again!

Go away, May!

Forum Moderator
Posts: 2527
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2004 11:53 am

Re : Show me the way to the hole...

Postby annes » Sun May 09, 2010 04:46 pm

Nikki, I feel ya. I am beyond grateful everyday for my 2 living children, because I know many people who would give anything to just have one, but you cannot replace one child with another. Even with another 2. Grieving for Ella does not in any way take away from the intensity of feeling you have for Ethan, the two things can co-exist. HUGS to you from someone who totally *gets* it. I'd crawl down into the hole with you any day :).

Registered User
Posts: 21
Joined: Thu Feb 25, 2010 09:03 am

Show me the way to the hole...

Postby mom2miracles » Sun May 09, 2010 04:05 pm

So that I can crawl into it for the rest of May. I would like to post something in a newspaper or something letting folks know that having a child after losing a child does not stop the grief. If one more person tells me that I need to celebrate because I have Ethan, I am seriously going to scream. My brother, for instance, has two awesome, healthy boys. He tells me all the time that I need to just celebrate because I still have Ethan. I want to ask him if he would still feel like celebrating if something happened to one of his boys (God forbid), just because he still has the other??? Note: I do still celebrate every holiday even when I don't want to at all...for my son. Is that suppose to take away the pain though? Why can't people, especially people who have kids themselves, realize that there is no replacement?? If you know me at all, you know exactly how thankful I am to have my son. Probably doesn't help that Ella's 3rd birthday is tomorrow and I just realized that her angelversary is on Memorial Day this year. Her birthday was actually ON Mother's Day last year. Seriously ready to say goodbye to May.

Anyway, thanks for "listening". Wishing everyone a Mother's Day as peaceful as it can be.

Return to “Grief and Loss”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests