oh jade, my heart goes out to you and your husband. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. Its a sad and life changing experience. I lost my first daughter in 2007. I remember feeling numb, empty, mad, out of control. It took a lot of effort to pick up the pieces, to mend our hearts, and it took a lot of time too. I did nothing for the first month and a half. All I could do was make it through a day. Slowly I was needing more, and found a therapist. It took more effort than I wanted to find someone who I was comfortable with, but that effort payed off. She helped me travel through my darkest times, when no one else knew what to say or do. Eventually I came to realize that I could love my daughter just as much, even though she wasnt physically here. I had to develop that relationship in my heart, and it really helped.
take it easy on yourself, losing a child is so painful and so hard to understand. Lean on whomever you can as much as possible, and take it minute by minute. You can get to a better, more peaceful place, but it will take time, patience, and a whole lot of support. hugs to you!