What not to say

[uncskristy]

Last Friday I met with a client who saw my pictures of Cooper and commented on how small he was. I explained that he was 16 weeks early, only a pound and five ounces and lived for 22 hours. This person was obviously not from the US because she responded, "Oh I did not know your country still had early babies". I was just floored that she said that at all and then to someone who just told you that she lost her son. How can someone not realize that premature births occur everywhere. I responded with "I had preeclampsia and there is currently no cure for the disease. Even with having the best healthcare that was possible, it still became necessary to deliver my son so at least one life was saved."

[rosemary]

Kristy, I am sorry for the encounter that you had. It is hard to imagine that comment being made. Hopefully with your taking the time to educate her, it might make her think twice before making another misinformed and hurtful comment.

Take care!

[jamilyn]

I think I wouldve been stopped in my tracks a little bit with someone telling me that. Ive been shocked at what all people have said to me over the years. Sorry you had to go thru that.

[l412angel]

Sorry you had to experience that. I honestly think that people are just not educated at all about Preeclampsia or Premature babies. We only see the "happy" things in movies and on TV...all you can really do is educate them about what you went through. Hugs!

[jules2]

People just really don't know Kristy. I try not to let that kind of comment upset me but just inform them that sadly it does still happen and sometimes there is nothing either the mother or any doctors can do to help. I think Laura is right - everyone dwells on the normal and happy. I'm sorry about your Cooper x

[riehlism]

Something I learned from going to grief counseling is that people sometimes just aren't equipped to properly handle losses or address losses. It may very well be a cultural thing where we preceive statements like that as brazen and almost heartlessly empty. But that still doesn't change how it makes us feeling. Sorry you had to experience that.