How's everyone doing????

[angelkat]

Were all in different places in our grief and it's very helpful to have others that have been thru that part of the grief process to help us understand or help us get thru the hard days.

Feel free to talk about your angels or your feelings anytime. Also, I am always just an e-mail away if your not comfortable writing your feelings...

Sending everyone many prayers for comfort,strength, and peace....

Many blessings.....




Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)PE 37 wks
Ky (11)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey Looking at Aug
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

[kimb]

I am hanging in there pretty good with Will's first bday just 9 days away. I have weepy moments - but come thru ok for the most part. Though I notice that when I don't like something - I am quick to really blow my top. I actually hung up the phone on my husband yesterday - never done that before. We are building a new fence and today we got home and had a note on the door from the city that we can't have it that tall - it is the SAME AS ALL THE NEIGHBORS! I really blew my top and screamed and cried for a long time. Yesterday we went out on the boat in Puget Sound and I was cranky too - then saw one of the most beautiful things! We spotted a pod of orca whales and there were lots of little ones - it was truly amazing! On Wednesday I have my last therapy appointment before Will's bday and then a long weekend. On Saturday the casino up the hill did their fireworks for the 4th (early) - and I cried a lot before the fireworks started. I'm almost past that point where I can say "this time last year I was pregnant". Hopefully that will help ease more of the pain. Guess I kind of rambled all over the place. Thanks for letting me rant!

Kim 35
William Michael - my angel - pe/HELLP 7/7/03

[angelkat]

Kim....
First angel birth and dates are very very hard to get thru. It starts to hit us a few weeks ahead of time. What your going thru and feeling is all normal. I think there's been a point in all of our lives since the death of our babies this has happened to us. Hang in there honey.... Were always around for you!!!!

Sending you HUGE HUGE and comfort and peace prayers....


Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)PE 37 wks
Ky (11)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey Looking at Aug
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

[craigh]

Heather and I are also hanging in there. The next couple weeks are going to be a little hard though, the 15th was Shane's due date. Was a tad POed at my dad last night, we planned a dinner with him and his wife to show them a scrap book Heather made of Shane and the memory box the hospital put together for us with his blanket and outfit they presented him to us in. After dinner when Heather handed it to my step mother, dad got up and walked out to weed his grape vines. I though perhaps he had a hard time with it so I walked outside with him, maybe he wanted to talk, I asked "whats new and exciting" hoping to help spark a conversation to which he happily replied "nothing", he walked over grabbed a basketball and shot a few baskets, my brothers came outside and they all started a basketball game. He never did look at the book or even the memory box.. Maybe I'm being selfish, but I think he should have at least looked at the box.. He and I have had a ruff relationship to say the least, we both have worked hard to try and correct that over the past few years but this makes it so much harder. If I were in his shoes, I would have at least attempted to look at the memory box knowing how important it is to my son. Shane was born at 9:30pm, we knew we only had a short time with him so I called dad, told him to get to the hospital ASAP if he wanted to spend time with him. Earlier in the day I had told him that if he wanted to be there great, understanding how difficult that time was I also said that i would not be offended if he didnt feel comfortable going. He told me that he wanted to be there and to call him when Shane was born.. I did, the call woke him up, he said ok he was on his way, hung up and apparently went back to sleep.. After about 30 min ( he is a 5 min drive fromt he hospital) I called back and my step mom answered, she said she didnt think they were coming because he went back to sleep.. About 10 am the next day I received a call from my father, exctreamly upset that I hadn't called to tell him Shane was born.. After telling him I did and explaining the story he remembered.. I am really ok with the fact that he missed that time with Shane but it really bothers me that he then wouldn't look at anything we brought last night or at least say to me, you know I feel a bit uncomfortable and would rather not see the pictures.. I would totally be ok with that.. I guess its just the fact that he totally blew it off as if nothing was mentioned of it, only to go play basketball with my younger brothers. Again, maybe im being selfish, but if the shoe was on the other foot I know I would have at least tried to look or said something if I couldnt.. Sorry to ramble, I guess it bothers me more then I thought..

-------------------
Mom and I love and miss you very much.. Shane Andrew, April 25, 2004

[angelkat]

Craig...

Your not being selfish one bit... We had the same things happen to us. MIL was to come down a week before Katlyne passed away but instead decided she needed to spend time with her friends instead of visiting and being able to hold Katlyne. Well, to make a long story short, a week later Katlyne took a wrong turn in the life in the NICU and we had to make the horrible choice of letting her go. Well, MIL acted as if we never invited her to see Katlyne and if she had no idea that something bad could happen.

Grandparents have a crazy way of showing grief.. Alot of them just can not handle the thought of losing a grand child. Some might even "Pretend" they were never on this earth. It takes a while to get used to how everyone feels. My InLaws do not want to talk about Katlyne, they don't even have a picture of her in their house. But if you go to my Mom's house you can see all the wonderful pictures of Katlyne she has hanging up and on the coffee table....

I'm glad you were able to ramble... It really does help the soul to get it out in the open!!!



Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)PE 37 wks
Ky (11)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey Looking at Aug
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

[for faith]

Hugs to everyone here. Today is the 5 month anniversary of Faith's death and I so desperately want her in my arms. Seeing my nephew grow is wonderful (he was due on the same day as Faith, born 6 weeks after her and 3 weeks after her death), I so desperately want her to be doing the same. Things have gotten better, but still most days are sad. I have found I have a very hard time with small talk and people's petty life issues. I feel as though I live in my own separate world sometimes. I definately can't handle stress and being around a lot of people any more. Feel I am gradually focusing on the positive though and putting my grief in a different place. Know this will take time, but working on it each day.

Today I just found out a friend/co-worker/neighbor is due on the 1 year anniversary of Faith's death (Jan 30th). I'm really hoping for a different day, don't need this too.

This forum has been great, it is so comforting to know that others are suffering the same loss and went through the same pregnancy issues. Thank you.

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH)
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02