I just needed to vent to those who would understand. This past week has been miserable. It started out with Thursday where I go from planning Santa's black friday shopping fun for my oldest to a couple of hours later being in Michaels picking out flowers to make a Christmas arrangement for Cooper's grave. Then on Saturday we went to our alma mater's last home football game of the season versus our big rivals NC State where I could not keep my mind off of Cooper because he would have been six months old and the hospital where he was born and died was literally only steps away from the stadium. Yesterday morning, I had to have the heaven conversation with Davis again because he finally asked about our dog . We had sent Lily Dog to my parents' house for awhile because she was not getting the attention she needed with us. But then a spinal disease surfaced and we had to put her to sleep so we have just avoided telling Davis until he asked. Then last night, we went to a Thanksgiving party. Out of the six couples there, four were pregnant and they kept talking about how next year there would be four more there. I am happy for them but I just kept having thoughts about how there should be one more this year. I just want to get to the point where when I think of Cooper I immediately think of how happy I am to have had him even for a short time vs immediately feeling pain and anger.
Mommy of Three Boys- Davis 10/4/2007(No PE, overbaked at 40wks, 2 days),
Cooper 5/20/2010-5/21/2010 (born too early at 24wks, 2 days due to severe PE) and
Blaine 10/11/11 (35wks, 6 days, mild but quick moving PE)
Wife to Matthew since 6/11/2005