This seems to fit here better than anywhere else. I guess I have to make a decision on this fairly soon to give them time to plan it if we're going to have one.
I never made it to my shower with Olivia, she was born and died at the end of September at 23 wks, my shower was supposed to be Thanksgiving weekend.
Now we're expecting our rainbow baby, a little boy, at the end of April, if we have a shower it will be in March. (So far, everything is going a lot better this pregnancy, baby measuring ahead, clear quad screen, my blood pressure and everything is still behaving.)
Honestly, I mostly don't want one. But I have certain well meaning family members and friends who think that it is a must and probably aren't going to drop the whole party thing. While they will concede to let me *not* have a shower, they then begin talking about doing a "meet the baby party" instead. I don't think I'm going to be able to get away with not doing either, and if I have to do something, I guess I'd rather it be a baby shower. (Passing my newborn baby,probably a preemie, around to a bunch of people at a party...no thanks!)
My main issue is not the baby stuff. We've already bought a few things and plan to order the crib once I make it to 24 weeks (almost 21 wks now). My issue is that people so easily act like this is my first pregnancy, this is our first baby, and completely forget/disregard Olivia. (My grandmother even said, "Oh, your dad will finally be a grandpa AFTER ALL!" to me when she learned I was pregnant. Nice.) It seems like having a baby shower, which is supposed to be for FIRST babies, would only reinforce that and I'm afraid of all the jerkface comments I'll have to endure during a baby shower (see case in point, my grandmother. I'd actually feel a lot better if it were possible to have a shower without her there because she always makes the crappiest/most hurtful comments, but that's not really going to work.)
So, I'm looking for any suggestions or advice, or stories about what others have done in this situation.
Me (29) DH (30)
#1-Olivia Caetlyn-9-28-09-9-28-09, 23+2 wks, emergency classic c-section, class I HELLP, IUGR
#2- Lucas Oliver (rainbow baby)- April 2011, 36+2 wks, HELLP and pre-e free! (lovenox and LDA pregnancy)
#3-Matthew, late October 2012...mostly normal, 37 wks, (lovenox and LDA again)
My blog: http://www.butterflies-and-rainbows.blogspot.com/