The soap in the hospital

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re: The soap in the hospital

Postby teresatolman » Tue May 03, 2011 11:23 am

Hospital smells can be very overpowering and trigger so many past traumatic events. For me it is the smell of the chlorahexadine scrub (kind of like soap) that our hospital uses before lab draws and IV starts. Just smelling it almost brings tears to my eyes because it is so strongly tied to all my memories of Hannah. And it sucks because I work in a hospital and have to use it from time to time. Sometimes I do ok and sometimes it is such a trigger.

I know this may sound so crazy to everyone but one night I was having a terrible night and was missing Hannah so much it literally felt like I couldn't breathe. I took one of the little swabs of it and opened it and just smelled it a few times while my eyes were closed and pretended she was still there with me. It made me feel so much better. Funny how your mind can trick you into things or bring back things that you tie to certain events.

Hang in there. Sorry you had to go through that.
Mommy to Ashley born 36 weeks after induction for severe preeclampsia that progressed to eclampsia (2000), Zackary born 35 weeks after induction for PIH (2001), Jacob born at 34 weeks due to severe pre-e, and my little angel Hannah born into heaven in 2007 from severe pre-e causing clotting off of placenta from MTHFR mutation and prothrombin mutation.

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Re: The soap in the hospital

Postby sam10 » Thu Apr 28, 2011 08:59 pm

sending you (hugs)....smells can be very powerful reminders...each time I use purell it happens to me.....
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
H (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
M (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE

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Re: The soap in the hospital

Postby kerisue » Wed Apr 27, 2011 10:56 pm

I can see the same thing happening to me some day. Its the littlest things sometimes that can bring the pain flooding back. Unfortunately it is probably the first of many triggers as you enter this next pregnancy so hang in there.
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed

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Re: The soap in the hospital

Postby flori » Wed Apr 27, 2011 01:52 pm

Jean, I'm sorry. It must have been bittersweet to be there pregnant but without your son.

The smell of the OBGYN waiting room is what gets me. When I had to go in to get my stitches removed (5 days after Gracie died), the emotion was still very raw and I cried almost instantly. When I went back for my pp three weeks later, it was the same thing. I kept flashing back to each prenatal appointment or ultrasound and pictured how happy dh and I were to be having a baby.

I also hate any type of hospital scene on tv. The other night we were watching the comedy Dirty Work and there was a hospital scene that made my chest hurt. Seeing the equipment and the hospital bed (fake or not) hit me hard.
Flori, 30
Mommy to Gracie- born at 25 weeks 03/15/11, 11 inches, 1.1lbs, and absolutely beautiful. Became my sweet angel the next day.

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Re: The soap in the hospital

Postby cmccaffrey » Wed Apr 27, 2011 12:26 am

I'm sorry! I get those sensory triggers as well. I was in a completely different hospital getting blood drawn last night and for me it was the smell of coffee. I don't even drink coffee, but there is always that crappy coffee smell in hospitals. It made me think of passing by the food carts as I walked through the halls of L&D. <3
Christa (25) & J (26)
Mommy to:
Mason born 10.11.10 @ 30+3 wks due to Severe Pre-E. Only lived 2.5 days
Noah born 2.1.12 @ 38 weeks thanks to lots of doctors visits, LDA, Lovenox and no preeclampsia!

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The soap in the hospital

Postby jean » Wed Apr 27, 2011 08:08 am

I went in for my first blood draw today and urine culture. I was washing my hands afterward and it hit me, hard. The smell of the soap. The same smell of the soap that I used to wash my hands each time we entered the NICU. It filled me with emotion and memory....that was really hard. :~( I think that has been my biggest trigger of a memory thus far..missing our son..
Our first son was born and passed in Feb of 2010. Born at 29 weeks due to HELLP and passed due to NEC. We miss him every day. :~(

Our second son was born at 39 weeks gestation in Nov of 2011. No HELLP or pre-e! Took LDA starting at week 12 and went off of it at week 38!

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