I know there are several women dealing with it being their angels first birthday this month and I just thought I would share how it was for me. The days leading up to Will's birthday had some very hard moments. I sobbed through the fireworks on the 4th. I went through his memory box a few days earlier and sobbed more. And then just broke down at various times. Yesterday, Will's birthday, was amazingly peaceful for me. We woke up at 7 and said happy birthday to Will at 7:07 - and then went back to sleep. I had taken the day off work so if I had emotions to deal with I could on my own terms. My husband stayed home with me for part of the morning and then went to work, I did a little housework and watched some tv - my mom and sister called to see how I was doing and I was able to have "normal" conversations with them without tears. Mike and I went out to dinner with his parents and then released balloons, that was the only time I cried yesterday, and it was a gentle cry. I am amazed at how "at peace" I feel now that the first year is over, it feels light a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders, there is no more "a year ago I was pregnant" to bring me down. Don't get me wrong - I don't love or miss him any less - I just have more peace. I hope that this will help ease some of your apprehensions of your anniversaries to come - as for me the apprehensions were the hardest. Thank you all for all of your support when I have needed it and wishing you all well.
William Michael - my angel - pe/HELLP 7/7/03