New here - Due date today (very long)

[riehlism]

Hi Nikki,

I am very sorry for your loss. June 3rd is a very special day for me. As you can see by my signature, my son was born and passed on June 3, 2010. June 3rd would have been his first birthday. It's a loss that can't be described, only experienced. I went through the normal stage of avoiding babies, pregnant bellies, and friends who were so uncomfortable they'd rather just forget the whole thing ever happened.

It was, and continues to be, a difficult grief process. People who are so close to us somehow fail us when we need them. They try their best to perk you up by saying: He's in a better place. Or the infamous: You'll have another one. It just makes us feel like our babies weren't enough to be recognized as a real child.

I was stubborn in the beginning and didn't want to see a grief counselor. I thought I could use this forum to speak with ladies to discuss my grief. Part of me didn't want to hear anything from someone who probably has no clue what happened to me. After a few weeks, maybe even a month and a half, my husband said we both had to see someone. So I saw a grief counselor with my husband (and sometimes individually), to help me organize my thoughts, feelings, and how to prepare to awkward situations.

I also saw an MFM, and my OB talked me through what happened. I also did my own research and asked a lot of questions on this site. I am very thankful for everyone here. It has been a source of strength, wealth of information, and camaraderie to be cherished.

I wish you luck during your grieving process. And I hope you will find this site inspirational, supportive, and empowering. Welcome to the boards.