Thank you everyone! I am so happy to have found this place. Despite all that my husband and I have lost, I still feel fortunate that I am able to move forward. We worked so hard to allow ourselves to experience what I hope was a healthy grieving process that is still evolving. We've all asked the "why me" question. If it had to happen, I accept that it had to happen to me. I have had great support from my family, health care providers, and of course the ladies on this forum.
I've come a long way in the last year and I believe that the grieving process is a lifelong journey. Some days I am still struck by the callousness of the world, and most days I am grateful for what and who I have around me. One year is a milestone of many. I am hopeful that my luck will turn around.