Seriously?!?! How can people be so cruel??

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

Re: Seriously?!?! How can people be so cruel??

Postby princess purr » Fri Aug 05, 2011 07:21 pm

You are doing amazing... it takes time. I still have moments where i want to slap people upside the head LOL Carlos's cousin just had a baby (and made us the god parents) and she kept saying how she didn't want a csection because she wanted to experience labor. I love her dearly, but I was like ARRRHHHHH I will NEVER get to experience labor, if a c section means you get a baby don't complain. It was like rubbing it in. Yea, I would have liked to experience labor, but it is not the end of the world to have a c section when you are having a nice normal pregnancy. I was actually in the room for the birth, when I walked in I was followed by two docs and three nurses because the baby was having decells and I was like OMG I can not do this, but everything okay. The doc that I go to was the one that delivered her, and he at least kept asking if I was okay. I gave her all of Veronica's stuff that I have been holding on to, I figure if my daughter can't wear it my Goddaughter should... One thing that really hurt is one of my best friends also just had a little girl in June, and she sent her a message on facebook saying welcome to the baby club... I always felt like people with living children were in a special little club but to actually see it hurt. SIlly, I know... anyway, I'm rambling!!! The first year or two is the worse... it gets better, but there are days that are still pretty bad for me... just not as many as there used to be.
Val (34) & Carlos (32)
Married: April 29th 2011
Veronica Rosina, 11/25/2004-11/27/2004
Born at 26.5 weeks (1 lb 4oz, 14 inches) because of severe preeclampsia (doc says I was on my way to HELLP but not there yet)
Nicholas Robert, 11/22/2013 7 lb 7oz 19.5 inches, born at 36 weeks (due to previous classical c-section) PE FREE!!!!!!
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Re: Seriously?!?! How can people be so cruel??

Postby kbunsey » Mon Aug 08, 2011 10:04 pm

Vent all you want.

The guy in the training session was gross. Just plain gross.

I like your tattoo. I'd love to see a pic soemtime. I've been thinking about getting another tattoo (I've had one since I was 19) for FB but I'm not sure where and what. I was actually thinking about contacting my tattoo artist to toss around ideas - so I definitely support yours! And I'll probably get mine next summer or fall and I'm thinking of getting it on my arm - inner forearm probably b/c I want to see it and touch it when I need/want to.

The friend who is pregnant - I don't have much to offer on that one that's helpful. I certainly would not be able to handle her comments about morning sickness and so on. In other points of my life I might have tried to talk to somebody or let them know how I feel when they do certain things, but in the past few years - with things that have happened in my life (my preeclampsia/loss, my hub almost died from a stroke, my FIL died, my grandma died, getting through Kyle's pregnancy and my PPD w/out being institutionalized) - I just don't have the emotional reserves to spend time and energy on anyone else. I have had to work so hard to get myself to OK and take care of business at home. And so I just find my way to being w/ people who do "get it" - or who are open to receiving my thoughts. I think many people are black and white - they can't deal w/ambiguity and if I did try and talk to them about it - they would write me off as crazy or obsessed and unwilling to let go. People have a hard time understanding things they haven't experienced. And some people have a hard time even dealing w/ death in general - let alone baby death. I guess. Or I could just be bitter.

Do your best to be good to you and surround yourself with people who will do the same!
Katie, married to Doug. Mom to Fiona Elizabeth, stillborn June 21, 2008 @ 26w; Severe Preeclampsia. Loved. Kyle James, born October 29, 2009 @ 39w; Healthy and PE Free!!! Josephine, born Nov.17, 2011 @ 39w; PE free again. Woot!
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