1 year anniversary

[cmccaffrey]

My son's birth and death anniversary are on the horizon and I have no ideas what to do. Unfortunately, we live 2500 miles away from where we buried Mason and our family is also pretty far away, so there goes having a little memorial with close family or anything. What were some ways you honored your babies? We were thinking about taking an over night trip and spending some time just the two of us, but that's all I have so far. Any ideas?

[sam10]

The first time around is so hard, but then again, I am not sure it it will get any easier. Whatever feels right to you on such a day is the right thing to do. If this means going away with your husband for a few days, then this is what you should do. I had the need to bake a birthday cake from scratch, buy a card and write it to my little Henry. Not sure I'll do the same this year, but I might.

[Shannonlynn]

You could plant a flowering shrub or small flowering tree in his honor. Maybe create a little garden for him, as you are able. You could start with the tree/shrub and go from there. I think I have seen you say you are in california, so you could find something for your zone. Maybe something that has a beautiful color at this time of year, to remind you of his beauty.

Just a thought. I plan to create a garden space for my son, a little meditation garden. Thinking of you~Shannon

[kerisue]

My baby's grave is near so it is easy for me to visit, but since yours is not, I like the meditation garden idea. I made a donation to PE foundation in my daughter's memory on her birthday with the money I would have spent buying her gifts. It was also helpful, though painful, for me to retell the story of the day of her birth- a long, crazy, awful day- to my family and to get their memories and impressions of that day too. I got out all the little mementos of her that I have tucked away- her nicu bracelet, her birth certificate, our scrapbook, etc.
I'd love to know what you decide to do for Mason.

[holly3372@msn.com]

We rented a few rooms on the beach. We had family.friends and some of Benjmain's nicu nurses come and spend the day we us. We had lots of yummy food and drinks. We listened to music and swam in the ocean. It was comforting to be around people who knew and loved our son. It was bittersweet but I felt very supported. We put his pictures out ,candles and flowers too.

[cmccaffrey]

Well, my hubs and I decided we are going to go up the coast to Santa Barbara for a few days to kind of get to be alone and think about Mason. If we stayed in LA my husband would probably get sucked into working somehow and then it would defeat the entire purpose of him even taking time off. I really wanted to do something very special, but it's hard to have a memorial in a place where you just don't feel like you belong. A few of my friends offered to do something with us, but I told them I think I would rather like to just make it a annual ritual to walk for the March of Dimes or the Preeclampsia walk. I feel like doing something to raise awareness or bring help for others would bring more honor to his life, but that's just the way I feel since I can't be anywhere near he is laid to rest. I also wanted to plant a little garden, but my husband said he doesn't think that's a good idea because if a plant were to die, I might end up taking it to heart and freaking out or something. So I am still thinking about that one.

Thanks for your lovely suggestions.

[brandi101]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and ur husband its a relly rough time but together you will make it through