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Does your husband's family remember your child?

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Does your husband's family remember your child?

Postby uncskristy » Wed Jan 04, 2012 03:04 pm

by uncskristy (170 Posts), Wed Jan 04, 2012 03:04 pm

Question for the others who have lost children. Which side of your family was more supportive after losing your child and since then in remembering your child- yours or your husband’s? The reason I ask is that my husband’s family has not been supportive at all. Besides his dad, mom, stepmom and grandmother, no one else showed up to Cooper’s funeral. None of his aunts, uncles or cousins sent a sympathy card and only one acknowledged Cooper’s death and that was with a facebook message. I thought I was gotten over this but over the holidays I realized neither one of my husband’s parents have pictures of Cooper up at their homes which made me think and realize that neither has even mentioned Cooper since the funeral. I know my family is far from perfect but when asked I hear my parents respond that they have three grandsons and they have copies of the few pictures up in their house we were able to take of Cooper when he was alive. The cake one of my cousins got for Blaine’s baby shower was a Tar Heel jersey with the number three on it because Blaine is son number three for us. My parents, brother and a good number of my aunts and cousins remembered Cooper’s birthday. I have a blog that I link to facebook everytime I write in it that describes how we don’t want people to be afraid to remember and mention Cooper around us because it is extremely important to us that people do remember him. So his family should know not to be afraid. I just don’t get it and have had a thought maybe they think of it more of my loss rather than my husband and I’s loss because I carried Cooper for 24 weeks. I don’t know and don’t get it. I know I should just get over it because they are not worth it and we have family members from my side that care but how do I explain this to Davis or Blaine if they ever ask why Daddy’s family does not talk about or remembers their brother.
Kristy
Mommy of Three Boys- Davis 10/4/2007(No PE, overbaked at 40wks, 2 days),
Cooper 5/20/2010-5/21/2010 (born too early at 24wks, 2 days due to severe PE) and
Blaine 10/11/11 (35wks, 6 days, mild but quick moving PE)
Wife to Matthew since 6/11/2005
uncskristy
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Location: North Carolina

Re: Does your husband's family remember your child?

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Sat Jan 07, 2012 06:13 pm

by holly3372@msn.com (478 Posts), Sat Jan 07, 2012 06:13 pm

Hi,I read this and can very much relate. I am sorry you have to feel this I know how hurtful it can be. I would say for sure that my side has been way more supportive in so many ways. It pains me too that his side is not but as time goes by i have no choice but to swallow it I guess. On the one year anniversary of Benjamin's death we all decided to take the day off ( my husband and I took a few days) we rented a room on the baech and all my friends and family and even some of Ben's nicu nurses came to be with us. We celebrated his life by being together. We made food,palyed music went swimming it was beautiful except his parents didn't come. They said we needed to get over it! I will never "get over it" he will always be my son and I and my family will continue to honor and remember him. It made me so mad for a while, now I just think it's sad . It has changed my relationship with his parents his mother mostly. She was and continues to be so selfish. It's not easy I know. I try to be gratful though for the people I have that are supportive. I understand. Much love to you xo
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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