by firstname.lastname@example.org (478 Posts), Tue Sep 18, 2012 09:42 am
I am sorry. It must be so hard to be far from your entire famly. I want to share with you that when I lost my son, I too felt alone. Although I was not alone in the same way as you are. I realized that everyone grieves very differently, especially men and women. My husband seemed so different then me. I wanted to talk and cry all the time. He didn't. I also realized that although friends and family wanted to be there for me and meant well, they too didn't understand. They would say things they thought would make me feel better and "get over it" but instead it just hurt so much.
Something that helped me alot was communicating with others that understood. Others that had also lost their baby. I found some groups on line such as this one. I also found a few groups that would meet up monthly. These groups had couples as well as single moms that were grieving . I exchanged numbers with a few of the women. We would talk on the phone and meet up for coffe or dinner and just talk. It was so helpful. If I were you I would look into this. Being around people that understand makes you feel much lesss alone in this. It has been 2 years since losing my son. I still am friends with some of the women I met through the groups. Some have gone on to have another baby, some are dating, some thinking about trying again. Time heals, I never believed it but it does.
I don't know about dating. That is a choice you have to make. I don't think anyone is ever 100 percent ready to date after a loss, try for another baby after a loss on and on. Going through what we have changes things alot. I do know that especially in the beginning stages of grief, we are so raw so sensitive. Just getting up everyday can be difficult. If you do decide to continue dating, maybe don't put alot of expectaions into it. I always say, if a man doesn't call you then he is doing you a favor. If you are going to have someone in your life then it should be someone who truly cares for you and wants to be with you. Dating, is simply getting to know people, deciding what you do and don't want. So try and take it slow enjoy the company and when you don't enjoy it, it's not for you. I hope this helps. Thinking of you, hang in there.
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo
Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013