Baby Blues

[holly3372@msn.com]

Well I am 2 days away from my csection . I am upstairs putting her clothes away in her closet. My husband is downstairs like a madman with the vacum and our family is on the way over to help clean ,organize and make us lunch. A good day and I know how lucky I am for all of these things but this morning I cannot shake the blues and the tears. I miss my son terribly he would be 3 this April. I am mixed with emotions and so wish he was here with all of us. I feel overwhelmed with grief all over again and wonder how I will feel when she is born. I am nervous. I just needed to post this to people who would understand . Thank you all for reading and for your continous support .

[MomTimesThree]

Being a mom of two, one in your heart, and one before you know it in your arms is such a mix of emotions. I remember too as it got closer to our second being born feeling like mixed nuts... mostly just nuts. I remember feeling so scared that I wouldn't have room in my heart for a new lil' one and fears that our first would be forgotten. Those fears were unfounded... neither has happened and I've grown to realize it's impossible because while parenting the child in your heart and memory is different than the ones you have here... it's still parenting. And just like a "normal" family where things get more complex when there are two, so does the angel momma family get more complex... just in different ways.

One day at a time.
Lauren

[kerisue]

Unfortunately I haven't been able to have another, but I imagine if I did I would be feeling the same way. I've heard others on this forum who have had a child after a loss express similar feelings. You're feeling all the joy and anticipation of this baby, but it kind of brings to the forefront again your thoughts and feelings and grief about Benjamin. He should be here to greet his new baby sister and this little girl- as wonderful and precious as she will be- won't replace him.

I hope all goes as it should tomorrow!

[Shannonlynn]

Holly, this same sort of sadness happened to me starting at about 35 weeks. I cried a lot and spent time thinking about the loss of my Fritzy. I think it's normal to feel like you do. I think when you see your little girl for the first time it will wash some of the sadness away. And you may see your son in his sister's face. We see Fritzy in Gavin all the time. Here's to a blessed delivery!! Hugs

[sam10]

A new baby after a loss can bring back many emotions and the longing for the baby who passed can be quite intense. I found myself being pulled back to those early days of grief. I had moments where I was suddenly confused over time and space, especially as our daughter just looked exactly the same as Henry.

[kbunsey]

It *is* really a challenging place to be after losing a baby. Know that your feelings and emotions are normal. Kyle reminded me of the first one every single day (both of my children still do). I remember feeling all mixed up - happy, sad, scared, overhwlemed, guilty. It can be so confusing. I had a really helpful doctor once who gave me an emotional comfort u/s when my doc was out-of-town during Kyle's pregnancy (I was pretty hysterical thinking Kyle died/PTSD) and she said, "Everything you are feeling is normal for you to feel after having gone through what you went through." It is hard not to feel completely insane, but know that you are not.

I don't mean to get ahead or add extra worry to your emotional pallette, but after your baby comes - please keep an eye on yourself (and have your family and friends keep close care of you) because post partum depression can be severe in mommies who have lost babies. Mine was and some professionals have told me that is common. Just be gentle with yourself. Pregnancy hormones on their own are insense, so take extra care.

Wishing you well for your delivery and recovery!