The Small Things that hurt

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

The Small Things that hurt

Postby uncskristy » Mon May 06, 2013 03:34 pm

Its amazing how small little reminders that Cooper is not here hurt a lot. This morning at a doctor's appointment I had to hand over my insurance card that reads:
1. Matthew A.
2.Kristina
3. Matthew D.
5. Blaine
Where's my number 4?
Then I was reading a magazine that had a picture a mother had sent in of her three year old little boy Cooper working on a craft. (Cooper would have been three on May 20th) And I can not tell you how many little boys named Cooper I know of now. I thought I had picked an somewhat original name. The worst was last year on what would have been Cooper's 2nd birthday watching my oldest son having fun playing ice hockey with a little boy named Cooper.
I know the pain will never go away but seriously can life just cool it with the reminders!
Kristy
Mommy of Three Boys- Davis 10/4/2007(No PE, overbaked at 40wks, 2 days),
Cooper 5/20/2010-5/21/2010 (born too early at 24wks, 2 days due to severe PE) and
Blaine 10/11/11 (35wks, 6 days, mild but quick moving PE)
Wife to Matthew since 6/11/2005
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Re: The Small Things that hurt

Postby sam10 » Mon May 06, 2013 08:02 pm

The reminders come unexpected and at random, I feel. As much as I feel I am ok with my situation, there it comes out of the blue and it can hurt so bad all over again.
~Julija (40)
MC 3/2009 and 3/2011
Henry (1/1/2010-1/7/2010) - forever loved and missed; severe PE with Hellp; partial placental abruption, classical c-section at 25.6 weeks
Matilda (Nov. 2012, born at 35.4 weeks) - severe PE


Our pain has been put into words, placed into empty cradles, to remember that all our babies lived, that they mattered and always will. - Field of Cradles http://www.fieldofcradles.org/
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Re: The Small Things that hurt

Postby kerisue » Mon May 06, 2013 10:37 pm

I think that missing #4 would hurt every time I saw it. :(
Mama to Millie
born June 2010 @ 24 wks. gestation due to my severe PE and CHF
lived 25 days, loved and missed
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Re: The Small Things that hurt

Postby ashleyhae » Tue Sep 10, 2013 09:03 pm

I am a preschool teacher, I knew going back after the loss of my daughter would be incredibly difficult and it was. I've been back for 4 months now and most of the questions that I couldn't answer have stopped, many kids have forgotten or moved on. But just today a little girl asked me if I still had the baby in my tummy. It brings it all back in an instant, I know they are completely innocent and I have learned to give a quick answer and move on to the next subject.
Ashley
Mommy to Malia born March 15, 2013 at 29 weeks due to severe preeclampsia.
She spent 2 precious days with us that we will forever cherish.
Baby #2 due 6/16/14
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Re: The Small Things that hurt

Postby MomTimesThree » Tue Sep 10, 2013 11:27 pm

The innocence, and honest questions from kids can be heartbreaking and heartwarming. One of the best comments I ever received was from a pre-teen student I knew with cognitive delays. He told me "That sucks. I'm sorry."

Wishing you moments of peace,
Lauren
2008-Our Baby Girl, PTL born too early at 30w6d, Fought so hard... Forever Loved & Missed
2010- Lil' Bro, Pre-E at 29 weeks... Induced at 36w6d, Born 37w
2012- Lil' Sis, Super-imposed pre-e at 25 weeks, PTL & GD at 35 weeks, Evicted 36w
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