A year ago today was the day we lost our precious little Ellie. I woke at 4am this morning, the exact time that we had the knock on the door to say the time was near.
So many people have remembered the significance of today, I am feeling quite humbled right now. Ellie made quite an impression on people in her short life.
Yesterday I had a big surprise when a woman who was in hosp with me knocked at my door. She had brought flowers for Ellie. She lost a twin at birth and the other twin Joshua was in NICU with Ellie. He was a day younger but a bit bigger. I often wondered how he got on. Well, there he was yesterday! It was a shock, but it was nice to see he was ok, and I even managed a cuddle. The first time I have been near a baby in a year. It was upsetting but I knew she knew just how I was feeling too as I was comforting her last year when she lost her baby.
We are finally feeling able to start moving on, although we will always miss our little Ellie. Our plan now is to try to give her a little brother or sister. It is only recently we have been able to think that way.
We are off to Ellie's grave later today, and no doubt more tears will be shed.
Not sure where Im going with this post - sorry it's a bit vague. Im typing my thoughts, and they are very jumbled at the moment.
DD Eleanor Susan (Ellie)
born at 27wks severe PE
24 July 03 - 20 August 03