Where about in Indiana are you going? I live in Indiana. I have not buried my son but he was cremated and sits in a cherub shaped urn on my bedroom dresser for me to talk to daily. I still laugh when I think about the times I'd come in and find the crocheted hat I made him on the floor or behind him. I thought to myself, typical kid, doesn't like to wear hats. Granted I found out later it was all because of my mischevious cat names Socks who was jumping up and walking along side of Ben and tipping his hat every day, but the kid like personality was fun to think about. Socks has since passed and I have a feeling he and Ben are playing together. My daughter, Kyra, was born after Ben, and I say Congratulations on your newest addition! One thing that has helped our family in times of grief is to launch a balloon with a whispered message. My daughter has been doing these "messages" to her father since she was 2.5 yrs old. He died 6 days before she turned 2 yrs old. I also have his ashes, which I know sounds weird, but I was saving them to let her, when she's grown, figure out a place to put him/bury him where she would want to go and visit. No one in my family had ever died until my husband started the ball rolling in 1996. I do not know your pain of losing a child that was here to hold and then went to play in Heaven. Mine went to play before I could hold him officially. But it sounds to me as if you have the strength to get through this visit and you will cherish the memories. It will be bitter sweet I do imagine.
Maybe if you are not too far away, I could meet you to give you a hug. Or offer to help keep the grounds for you when you are away?
Your Friend through PF,
TimelessBeauty aka Sue