I agree with DH being normal. Mine doesn't show his emotions well (we are a lot alike with that), especially grief. It has been difficult, but our talks together have been the best. Neither of us went to counseling, but really have worked hard together to work with living with this incredible loss.
It must have been so hard on our DHs to see not only the baby, but us in such a bad situation. People do grieve differently and I think especially men do. I know for me & DH that time progression is the one thing that has helped. Maybe you can start discussions about Ashley with him to bring out emotions you can talk about. Another thing that has helped me is getting involved in charitable activities in her memory, maybe that would be something for DH. Sorry to not have more.
Wishing you both the best,
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH (just told by peri it was mild PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))
trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02