Today

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
lisa k
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Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 07:50 pm

Re : Today

Postby lisa k » Thu Sep 16, 2004 06:19 am

Thank you so much TB. All of what you say really makes sense. I just need to learn how to remember it all throughout the day. Seems like when you are feeling your worst, those happier thoughts are no where to be found! Thanks for all your help and thoughts!
Hugs!

timelessbeauty
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Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 01:15 pm

Re : Today

Postby timelessbeauty » Wed Sep 15, 2004 09:33 pm

Lisa,

I saw something on a religious program recently and I'm not one to normally watch them but it hit home. God already knows you and has known all about you before you do anything. We live in the present and don't know our futures but it is said He knows what is in store for us and what we will do. And HE STILL loves us unconditionally. If He can love us, we can love ourselves. I know maybe some of my words sound hollow to you now but you will come to realize in time there really wasn't much of a choice for you. You saw to it that your baby didn't suffer and you are here to help others as we help you. Hugs!!!!


TB

lisa k
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Posts: 14
Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2004 07:50 pm

Re : Today

Postby lisa k » Wed Sep 15, 2004 08:58 pm

Thank you for the advice and that's just what I'm going to do before I go to bed. Look through his baby book where all his ultrasound pictures are, etc. I wish I had internet access through out the day because that would help so much, to be able to talk with all you and visit the site when I needed to. I left an angel ornament at his grave this morning and I went back out after work and sat there for a little while, talking to him. (although I never know what to say)

TB, your situation sounds VERY similar to mine. But I unfortunately had to make that choice and will hold the guilt until the end of time. I can't let that go because it seems like one more thing I failed at. Your words hit so close to home, every single one of them. Thank you.

Thank you all again for all your wonderful advice and caring words. My heart goes out to each and every one of you for helping me.
THANK YOU.

kimb
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Posts: 140
Joined: Fri Aug 22, 2003 03:00 pm

Re : Today

Postby kimb » Wed Sep 15, 2004 05:40 pm

Lisa,

I am so sorry you are having a tough day - and I definitely know what that is like. I agree with what Julie said about wanting to do something special, but not knowing what....that was one of the things my therapist tried to do with me was get me to plan something special - but it is so hard. I hope you were able to find some comfort for yourself today.

Kim 35
William Michael - my angel - pe/HELLP 7/7/03

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julie f
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Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2003 11:56 am

Re : Today

Postby julie f » Wed Sep 15, 2004 05:06 pm

Lisa,

I'm am so sorry and am sending prayers your way for peace.

Days like this are hard. I always feel like I want to do something so special but, I never know what that is. Then that leads to guilt that I don't even know what to do...

Keeping you in prayer,

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

Southern California Coordinator

space_coaster
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Posts: 88
Joined: Wed Sep 08, 2004 06:58 pm

Re : Today

Postby space_coaster » Wed Sep 15, 2004 04:24 pm

Lisa, {{{{big hugs}}}} to you. My daughter died two weeks ago today and I've been having a hard day too. It's pretty late in the day now but I hope you managed to find some time to do something for yourself and bring a smile to your face. If not, maybe you just need to be sad today, and tomorrow maybe you'll feel better. I sure hope that's the case. My thoughts are with you.

Jocelyn (36)
Mommy to Michelle Elizabeth, 8/25-9/1/04, 24w1d, 1 lb 3 oz, severe PE/HELLP syndrome

Michelle's memorial page: http://www.geocities.com/jfiorello68

angelkat
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Joined: Thu May 08, 2003 10:26 am

Re : Today

Postby angelkat » Wed Sep 15, 2004 12:09 am

Lisa

My prayers and thoughts are with you today and always


Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(14)PE 37 wks
Ky (12)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey - 34wks Born 7/29/04
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

tinalowe
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Posts: 288
Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2004 09:46 pm

Re : Today

Postby tinalowe » Wed Sep 15, 2004 10:40 am

Lisa--Sending you huge hugs and prayers for peace and comfort. I think many of us share the same feelings you are experiencing. Just know that we are here if you need us. Also, these ladies have given some great idea maybe using one of them will help you in some way today!

Tina 23
DH Dereck 26

Emma Victoria stillborn 12-28-03 severe pre-e
ttc#2


timelessbeauty
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Posts: 1712
Joined: Thu Mar 27, 2003 01:15 pm

Re : Today

Postby timelessbeauty » Wed Sep 15, 2004 09:03 am

Lisa,

When I lost Ben at 24 wks due to severe pre-eclampsia, the first thing I told my husband was "I'm so sorry" and was bawling. We found out during an ultrasound visit while trying to keep my pressures down in the hospital. I was kicking out so much protein and sky rocketing in bp that they told me later, I was lucky I didn't end up on a donor list. My heart, liver, lungs, and kidneys were all starting to fail as a result of the high pressures and toxicity in my system. Granted I didn't have to make a choice because God took him before the doctors came down to making that a question. It's hard but look at what quality of life that poor little fellow would have had at being born so young and under stressful circumstances. I was told any baby born before 26 wks has a 95% mortality rate after birth anyway, mostly due to lungs not being developed. You saved yourself and your baby suffering. You are alive today to carry on his memory but to honor him in trying again. You so loved children that you wanted him, and he wants you to go on loving children while he watches over you from above. Ask around and talk to specialists in your area. You may get it again or you might be able to stave it off like I did the third time I was pregnant full term. I've had 3 miscarriages and a stillborn baby boy due to Pre-e. Possibly the heparin shots, baby aspirin therapy, antioxidants and vitamins could help you, too. Or, go in and have tests done to check for any underlying condition. If mourning him means to cry, go for a walk and talk to him, or simply smile that he was in your life, do what makes you feel like you have remembered him. Go get a balloon and launch it skyward to carry your message of love to him or light a candle for him tonight. The risk is out there for you again but education is the key. I cannot take away your pain but I offer my prayers for you to remember that life has joys as well as sorrows. And because of your grief, you are most likely a changed woman with an even most sensitive heart. God grant you peace my friend!

TB

for faith
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Posts: 1749
Joined: Wed Mar 10, 2004 02:15 pm

Re : Today

Postby for faith » Wed Sep 15, 2004 08:53 am

Oh Lisa ~ Sending lots of hugs on Jeremy's anniversary. I understand that lost feeling, I have it too. I am hoping one day it gets easier. Wishing you peace with your feeling of pain & guilt. I hope you have some peaceful time today.



Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH (just told by peri it was mild PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC & Sepsis(preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 9/02


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