questions about memory boxes

[amcyates]

I thought I had read on this forum that someone had started an organization that donates memory boxes to hospitals to give to women who have a stillbirth. I was so inspired by what she had done that I've decided to present it to my family life group at my church as a suggestion for our service project. I cannot find the post that I thought I read here, but I wonder if any of you could help me. I'm having a tough time finding appropriate boxes (ones that are suitable for long term storage, look infant-like, don't look like miniature coffins, and are a reasonable price). I'd like to include an outfit also, and could use some suggestions there. Our group is not that large and funds will be limited, but I'd like whatever we do to be very nice. So far, my ideas for things to include are: a disposable camera, some kind of container for a lock of hair, an outfit, maybe a small blanket, a small teddy bear, a plaster kit (for hand and foot impressions), and some sort of poem/scriptures/other literature. Any other suggestions would be more than welcome, but I especially need ideas on where to get these items and how to get them cheaply.

Thank you,
Amanda--mom to Malerie 7/22/98, Corinna 2/15/98, both full-term and healthy, and Lillian Grace 8/11/04, born still due to PIH with no PE symptoms at all.

Amanda

[julie f]

Amanda,

I think that's wonderful that you are starting this in your area. I can't tell you how much it meant to me to receive Zach's memory box. I keep it in my nighstand and cherish everything inside of it. I'm not sure how to go about getting the items inexpensively though, I would assume that many places will donate. Also, there might be some money set aside in the NICU budget for things like this. I know the money for the memory boxes from our NICU comes from money that families have donated. And, if there are people at your church who can knit or crochet, maybe they could make some of the items.

In our box is:
Zach's footprints, pieces of hair, diaper, little blanket, hat, shirt and booties, a card with Zach's birth statistics, the name card that they made for his bed in the NICU, tiny heart pillow, "It's a Boy" beanie baby bear and a small sign that says, "If you can'thold children in your arms, hold them in your heart."

The box that it was put together in is very nice, I'll put a call into the social worker at the hospital on Monday to see if I can find out where they order them from, I'll also take a digital picture and can send it to you in email if you like.

Again, I think that's wonderful that your group may do this. It will mean so much to so many.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

Southern California Coordinator

[angelkat]

Amanda,

The Foundation is in talks about this as I type.

When Katlyne passed away we left the hospital with just the things she had there (after 3 months there was a ton of things). At her funeral the nurses came up to me and gave me this pacakage that was a plate with hands and footprints of Katlynes along with books of grief, a locket of her hair,a small gold ring, the outfit she wore when she passed away ( I didn;t want her in the morgue naked (crazy I know)). But, the best thing they gave me where abot 20 pictures of Katlyne no tubes and they were taken in the hospital garden.

Good Luck.....

Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(14)PE 37 wks
Ky (12)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey - 34wks Born 7/29/04
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V

[heatherbbb]

Amanda,
I was given a little gold ring to place on my son's finger while he was passing away. I was then able to keep that ring and wear it on a necklace to remember him. I have seen other women with them and know they have lost a child. I thought the ring was a very nice keepsake. I wonder if you could not get some of these items donated or at least sold at a discount from your local stores. It's amazing what people will donate for a good cause. When I lost Seth, the hospital (through the SHARE program) gave us a packet with a memory book, grieving literature, the ring all in a beautiful white bag. It was not a memory box that could be sealed. I have bought my own memory box to place my son's clothes, toys, and other items in. Good luck with this project. It is so worthwhile and awesome!

Heather (32)
Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE/HELLP 9/3/03-2/13/04
http://members.cox.net/heatherbbb/seth/seth.htm
Due with Joshua Allen -scheduled C-section @ 39 weeks (about Jan 20, 2005)

[for faith]

Amanda ~ That is wonderful. Wishing you the best with this great project.



Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH/mild PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC/Sepsis (preemie complications))
OUR LITTLE MIRACLE due 6/5/05

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 09/02

[selmasings]

My name is Vicky and although I myself have not lost a baby to pre-eclampsia, I have suffered a m/c and a stillbirth. I wanted to reply to your post about memory boxes as I am involved in a charity which does this very thing....

www.joshuasboxes.co.uk

I just wanted to let you know and to say you should have a look at the site, it may help you gather the info you need. It really is a wonderful thing to be involved in! Good luck with your venture!

Vicky (27) Magnus (28)

February 2003: Baby D - Miscarraige 10 weeks pregnant
Thomas - 01/01/04: 8:31am: Stillborn (31 1/4 wks)
www.babythomas.co.uk
"Fly, fly little wing - Fly beyond imagining"

[laura]

Vicky- thanks for posting that link. I just checked out the websites, (both for joshua's boxes and Thomas') and I'm so impressed! You guys are doing a wonderful thing with your charity- best of luck to you!

Laura
Administrator/AK Area Coordinator

Alicia (severe PE) 5/98 ~ Camille (htn, oligo) 4/03
http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/c/camilleandallie/

[for faith]

Vicky - I second Laura's comments, it is so wonderful what you are doing. Wishing you all the best!!!!

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH/mild PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC/Sepsis (preemie complications))
OUR LITTLE MIRACLE due 6/5/05

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 09/02

[akemt]

I think this is a very beautiful thing to do for greiving families. This now has me thinking about making up wall-mounted memory boxes for the loved ones we have lost in our family. Perhaps when I get a staircase and an upstairs they will line the stairway wall. What a great way to keep them close and to teach my little children about them.

And T, I don't think dressing your baby girl was crazy at all. To me it is a sign of the love and respect you have for her. The fact that her spirit may have no longer been present in her little body does not mean that it loses significance. In those tender moments, I couldn't imagine myself doing differently.

You ladies, as always, are an inspiration and frequently move me to tears.



Catherine (23), Moderator (pregnant again)
DH Britton (28)
Emma Margaret (03/02/03) 37 weeks from PIH & oligo
Lara Julianne (07/31/04) 38 weeks Borderline PIH
George the gallbladder (09/15/04) 6 1/2 weeks PP 15-20 small gallstones

[tawniemarie]

My family recieved a beautiful memory box when we lost Tyler. It had his little sunglasses, tubes, and his "blankie." It also had the diper he wore, it was huge on him since he was only 11 oz. They also dressed him in a special gown and hat made for micro-preemies, and took pitures of him dressed, and without tubes after he died. I was glad to have them, but they really bothered my husband. He was not comfortable with someone posing our son after he died. We were also given a teddy bear that they took his picture with, I slept with it for weeks after he died, because it once touched our precious baby. They made molds of his hands and feet. They also made a mold of his entire body, because he was so tiny. This bothered my mom and grandma terribly. I really wished that they would have asked us about this. It's possible that they did, I remember agreeing to the hands and feet molds, but I was so upset the night my son died, I can't remember. I looked at it the night before his funeral, put it in a box, and have never looked at it since. I just can't. Maybe some parents would appreciate something like this, but it seemed morbid and unsympathetic to our family. I keep telling myself that someday I may want it, but I just don't know. I loved our memory box, minus that item, and I wrote to the hospital social worker to see if she knew where the NICU got them from.

-Tawn
Mom to Tyler Michael
3-16-04 to 3-21-04 born at 24 weeks due to severe pre-e.
Pregnant with # 2!! He or she will (I Hope) be delivered between the end of May to the begining of June.