I am so sorry for your loss, there are just no words...
You are right, this is the worst "reality check" life can offer. There is no sense to be made of such a tragedy. It has been over a year since I lost my son and I still struggle for understanding every day.
I hope that you are able to start something at church for women who also know this pain. I can imagine that they be hesitant it first, it seems that the "real world" doesn't know what to do with us and the things people say with good intentions, can be so isolating and hurtful. What a gift though, if you can help women find a place where they can mourn their children with respect, love and compassion. I have found the Foundation to be my biggest source of that. My faith and the women here have helped me to stand back on my feet when all I want to so is stay in bed.
My husband and I also deal with losing Zach in different ways. I too need to talk while my husband is much more guarded and quiet. It has led us though on quite the spiritual journey, trusting in God means something entirely different to me now than it did a year ago. One thing that was very helpful to us was to talk with our pastor. He helped us to make sense of our feelings, to let us know that's ok that we still feel an overwhelming mix of emotions when we walk through the church doors, that it's ok to struggle to "praise" while our hearts are still in mourning...
Again, I am so very sorry for your loss.
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe
Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!
Southern California Coordinator