a hard moment tonight

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : a hard moment tonight

Postby angelkat » Thu Oct 07, 2004 09:58 pm


First, I'm sending you HUGE Hugs...
Logan death is still so new. It's so hard trying to "deal" with people we haven't seen in a while. (I use to get are you still Bfeeding?... My nasty response was yes, I go to my daughters grave every 3 hours and to feed her - Nasty I know but I couldn't help myself!). Now I usually say, I have my three boys at home and my princess is in heaven. It usually stops the questions .

Feel free to post anytime.. It always seems to help me by writing my feelings and of course, getting the huge hugs from all the wonderful women on this forum!!!

Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(14)PE 37 wks
Ky (12)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey - 34wks Born 7/29/04
Katlyne's Tribute Site

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Posts: 84
Joined: Sat Oct 02, 2004 09:51 pm

a hard moment tonight

Postby forlogan » Thu Oct 07, 2004 08:13 pm

Hi everyone....I just had a difficult moment tonight. I hate it when something, a question or someone catches you off guard. I am a Brownie Troop Leader for my daughter's troop and was at a Leader meeting tonight. I haven't seen all of these women all summer and some of them knew I had been on bed rest, but never heard of the outcome of my pregnancy. First, it started with a questionaire that was just a getting to know you again...a spotlight for everyone to try to guess who it was. Anyway, the very last question was "If you could meet anyone, dead or alive, who would it be?" Immediately and without thinking I wrote "my son". I didn't have to explain and didn't feel I should. It just came out and it's truly how I feel. I never really got to "meet" him. He was stillborn and I only knew him when he was growing and kicking inside me. I still miss that feeling and feel very empty sometimes. I used to talk to him and call him "my little man." I never got to look into his eyes and see him looking back at me. I know he watches over us now, and I still talk to him often. I was feeling sad through the meeting now and low and behold someone came up to me and said, "Last I heard you were on bedrest...did you have your baby?" I just said he died and couldn't say any more. I was afraid I would start bawling. I think I came across as rude, but didn't mean to. I just couldn't talk at the moment. I cried on the way home. Thanks everyone, for listening. You are all wonderful.

Dee (31)
DH Bryan (32)
Mom to:
Talia - 7 (full term, no complications) 1-31-97
Logan - Stillborn at 25w due to severe PE 5-16-04
and 4 little angels in heaven

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