by grace04 (497 Posts), Sun Oct 10, 2004 09:40 am
I agree with all these women. Don't worry about being rude. Someone told me shortly after Grace died that this is the one time in my life where I can be selfish and people will understand. You need to deal with those questions however you feel you need to. I have had so many of those questions. In my job we work with lots of associations, and so many of the members of those associations knew I was pregnant - and now, over six months later, I still run in to people who last saw me pregnant, and say stuff to me like ... "So - did you have a boy or a girl?" I usually answer with a smile and say, "we had a girl" and then say, "but I delivered really early and she didn't make it" or I'll just say "it ended tragically." Its true that people don't know what to say and aren't prepared for your answer. Unfortunately, other people go on with their lives and it makes us feel like we were left in the dust. The worst is when other people think I should have "moved on" by now. Give me a break! I don't think I will ever "move on" from the loss of Grace. But someone told me once that people say stupid things because they don't know what else to say... so I try very hard to remember that when I want to scream at them for what they said!
Mother of Grace Ann Nolan
2/22/04-3/2/04 (born @ 27 weeks Pre E)