So sad!

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So sad!

Postby tracey » Thu Oct 14, 2004 04:09 pm

When we were in the hospital after Ila was born, the hospital social worker mentioned to us that in October of every year, the hospital holds a memorial service for all the babies lost, for not only the parents to attend, but also doctors, nurses etc. We were to receive notification of this in the mail. We hadn't received anything, and I had assumed it would be tomorrow, to mark National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I just called the hospital, only to find out it had been YESTERDAY. The woman I spoke to was very nice, but did say the "invites" were sent out by the NICU, and since Ila was stillborn, that's probably why we weren't on the list. That broke my heart. [V]

It may sound awfully strange, but I was "looking forward" to having an opportunity to remember my girl along with all the others who had lost this year, at the same hospital, with the same people caring for them, on the same floor, etc. I wanted to hear her name being called out with the rest of them -- doesn't hearing their name being spoken give a sense of "breathing life" into them?

In the end, I know it's not the end of the world, as we memorialize her everyday. I suppose it was just the thought of doing it in public, and in somewhat of a ceremonious way that was different for me.

Tomorrow evening will be even more special to me now. I will be lighting a candle and saying a prayer at 7 pm for her as well as all of your angels.

mama to
angel Ila Elizabeth (02.06.04), 25w2d ~ severe pe/Class 1 HELLP
pea-in-the-pod, EDD 03.25.05

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Re : So sad!

Postby josiah1112 » Thu Oct 14, 2004 04:22 pm

What a bummer! I'm so sorry this happened. You
are so right. Hearing their name IS like breathing
life into them.

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
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Re : So sad!

Postby angelkat » Thu Oct 14, 2004 04:39 pm


Sorry you miss the service. Your right about looking forward to a service. Each Month the hospital does a rememance service for the loss babies/children. We go in December for Katlynes birthday and in April to mark her angel date.

Sending you Huge Hugs

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Mommy to
Drew(14)PE 37 wks
Ky (12)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey - 34wks Born 7/29/04
Katlyne's Tribute Site

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Re : So sad!

Postby for faith » Thu Oct 14, 2004 04:40 pm

Oh Tracey ~ I am so sorry you missed it. I haven't heard of anything in my area, that sounds wonderful. I will be lighting a candle and saying prayers too tomorrow. Thank you for including all of us, I am going to also.

Take care,

mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH/mild PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC/Sepsis (preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 09/02

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Re : So sad!

Postby forlogan » Thu Oct 14, 2004 09:26 pm

I'm so sorry you missed that. It sounded wonderful. I have never heard of a hospital having such a thing. I wish mine did. I agree with the others...just hearing their name honored like that would "breathe" life into them. My little Logan was stillborn too. God bless you and all of us who have had stillborn children. They will forever remain in hearts and souls and be our little angels watching over us. Sending you prayers and hugs.[;)]

Dee (31)
DH Bryan (32)
Mom & Dad to:
Talia - 7 (full term, no PE) 1-31-97
Logan - (Stillborn at 25w due to severe PE) 5-16-04
and 4 little angels in heaven

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Re : So sad!

Postby heatherbbb » Fri Oct 15, 2004 05:37 am

I would have wanted to go to a service like that too. I'm sorry you missed it. Maybe you should write a letter to the NICU and ask them to include the parents of stillborns in their invitations. I'm sure there are many other parents like you who would have wanted to attend. Hopefully you can attend next year. Thank you for your prayers on this day!

Heather (32)
Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE/HELLP 9/3/03-2/13/04
Due with Joshua Allen -scheduled C-section @ 39 weeks (about Jan 20, 2005)

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Re : So sad!

Postby kdreher » Fri Oct 15, 2004 07:38 am

That really stinks that you missed out. Perhaps a kind letter to the hospital reminding them about all the mothers might help them. Perhaps it didn't occur to them to invite everyone who lost a child. (I guess I second heatherbbb's post).

You are in all of our thoughts today!

Kris (35)
DH, Tom (34)
My Angel Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Hoping for a little miracle in 2005!

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Re : So sad!

Postby denise » Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:43 am

I was going to make the same suggestion as Heather and Kris....definately write to the hospital and share your opinion/feelings with them. I'm sure they would look at making a policy change.

Hugs to you Tracey.

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Denise (28)
Jason (32)
Ariana (16 months)-born 5/3/03 at 35 weeks due to HELLP

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Re : So sad!

Postby sweetiesuzy » Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:46 pm

Oh Tracy,
I am so sorry you misssed the memorial service. I think they should include all parents who have lost a child due to any circumstance. You have every right to have you child honored.

Sending you love & hugs,

Aaryngston ~ 3/25/95
Chloe Rose ~ 10/26/01 Stillbirth
Samuel Isaac ~ 12/30/02
Laura Elise ~ 7/19/04

"Children will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for"

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Re : So sad!

Postby julie f » Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:47 pm


I'm so sorry to hear that you weren't given the opportunity to attend this ceremony. I would have been very disappointed as well, there is something to be said for being able to honor your baby with others who have lost their children as well. Our hospital does not offer a service and I think it's very sad.

I agree with others about writing a letter.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

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