When we were in the hospital after Ila was born, the hospital social worker mentioned to us that in October of every year, the hospital holds a memorial service for all the babies lost, for not only the parents to attend, but also doctors, nurses etc. We were to receive notification of this in the mail. We hadn't received anything, and I had assumed it would be tomorrow, to mark National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. I just called the hospital, only to find out it had been YESTERDAY. The woman I spoke to was very nice, but did say the "invites" were sent out by the NICU, and since Ila was stillborn, that's probably why we weren't on the list. That broke my heart. [V]
It may sound awfully strange, but I was "looking forward" to having an opportunity to remember my girl along with all the others who had lost this year, at the same hospital, with the same people caring for them, on the same floor, etc. I wanted to hear her name being called out with the rest of them -- doesn't hearing their name being spoken give a sense of "breathing life" into them?
In the end, I know it's not the end of the world, as we memorialize her everyday. I suppose it was just the thought of doing it in public, and in somewhat of a ceremonious way that was different for me.
Tomorrow evening will be even more special to me now. I will be lighting a candle and saying a prayer at 7 pm for her as well as all of your angels.
angel Ila Elizabeth (02.06.04), 25w2d ~ severe pe/Class 1 HELLP
pea-in-the-pod, EDD 03.25.05