So sad!

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Re : So sad!

Postby tracey » Sun Oct 17, 2004 07:01 pm

Thanks to all of you for your words of support.
That was such an emotional time for me, and it was a relief to know there was somewhere to go where people would understand.

I'm sure it's a difficult thing for the hospital, in an administrative sense. That is, it would be easy to "overlook" the infants lost through stillbirth, etc, since they never made it to the NICU, and since it's the NICU who organizes everything, they wouldn't have any records of these tragedies, I guess. Regardless, I plan to do just as many of you suggested and write a letter to the hospital -- perhaps this may change the way it's handled in the future.

Again, thank you all so much for your kindness and support. I truly don't know what I would do without you.

mama to
angel Ila Elizabeth (02.06.04), 25w2d ~ severe pe/Class 1 HELLP
pea-in-the-pod, EDD 03.25.05

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Re : So sad!

Postby space_coaster » Fri Oct 15, 2004 07:23 pm

Oh, Tracey, I'm sorry you missed the ceremony! They should have included you. I hope you will write to the hospital and they will change their policy so no other parent is excluded this way. Do you have a Compassionate Friends chapter in your area? CF is an organization for parents who have lost a child of any age (including adult children), so it's not quite the same as one specifically for infant loss, but they are doing a candlelight ceremony on December 12...maybe you could attend that one if there's one close by. Just a thought. (((hugs)))

Jocelyn (36)
Mommy to Michelle Elizabeth, 8/25-9/1/04, 24w1d, 1 lb 3 oz, severe PE/HELLP syndrome

Michelle's memorial page:

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julie f
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Re : So sad!

Postby julie f » Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:47 pm


I'm so sorry to hear that you weren't given the opportunity to attend this ceremony. I would have been very disappointed as well, there is something to be said for being able to honor your baby with others who have lost their children as well. Our hospital does not offer a service and I think it's very sad.

I agree with others about writing a letter.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

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Re : So sad!

Postby sweetiesuzy » Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:46 pm

Oh Tracy,
I am so sorry you misssed the memorial service. I think they should include all parents who have lost a child due to any circumstance. You have every right to have you child honored.

Sending you love & hugs,

Aaryngston ~ 3/25/95
Chloe Rose ~ 10/26/01 Stillbirth
Samuel Isaac ~ 12/30/02
Laura Elise ~ 7/19/04

"Children will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for"

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Re : So sad!

Postby denise » Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:43 am

I was going to make the same suggestion as Heather and Kris....definately write to the hospital and share your opinion/feelings with them. I'm sure they would look at making a policy change.

Hugs to you Tracey.

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Denise (28)
Jason (32)
Ariana (16 months)-born 5/3/03 at 35 weeks due to HELLP

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Re : So sad!

Postby kdreher » Fri Oct 15, 2004 07:38 am

That really stinks that you missed out. Perhaps a kind letter to the hospital reminding them about all the mothers might help them. Perhaps it didn't occur to them to invite everyone who lost a child. (I guess I second heatherbbb's post).

You are in all of our thoughts today!

Kris (35)
DH, Tom (34)
My Angel Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Hoping for a little miracle in 2005!

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Re : So sad!

Postby heatherbbb » Fri Oct 15, 2004 05:37 am

I would have wanted to go to a service like that too. I'm sorry you missed it. Maybe you should write a letter to the NICU and ask them to include the parents of stillborns in their invitations. I'm sure there are many other parents like you who would have wanted to attend. Hopefully you can attend next year. Thank you for your prayers on this day!

Heather (32)
Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE/HELLP 9/3/03-2/13/04
Due with Joshua Allen -scheduled C-section @ 39 weeks (about Jan 20, 2005)

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Re : So sad!

Postby forlogan » Thu Oct 14, 2004 09:26 pm

I'm so sorry you missed that. It sounded wonderful. I have never heard of a hospital having such a thing. I wish mine did. I agree with the others...just hearing their name honored like that would "breathe" life into them. My little Logan was stillborn too. God bless you and all of us who have had stillborn children. They will forever remain in hearts and souls and be our little angels watching over us. Sending you prayers and hugs.[;)]

Dee (31)
DH Bryan (32)
Mom & Dad to:
Talia - 7 (full term, no PE) 1-31-97
Logan - (Stillborn at 25w due to severe PE) 5-16-04
and 4 little angels in heaven

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Re : So sad!

Postby for faith » Thu Oct 14, 2004 04:40 pm

Oh Tracey ~ I am so sorry you missed it. I haven't heard of anything in my area, that sounds wonderful. I will be lighting a candle and saying prayers too tomorrow. Thank you for including all of us, I am going to also.

Take care,

mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH/mild PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC/Sepsis (preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 09/02

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Re : So sad!

Postby angelkat » Thu Oct 14, 2004 04:39 pm


Sorry you miss the service. Your right about looking forward to a service. Each Month the hospital does a rememance service for the loss babies/children. We go in December for Katlynes birthday and in April to mark her angel date.

Sending you Huge Hugs

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Drew(14)PE 37 wks
Ky (12)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey - 34wks Born 7/29/04
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