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Maggie's birthday

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Maggie's birthday

Postby jenndola » Thu Oct 14, 2004 11:03 pm

by jenndola (1851 Posts), Thu Oct 14, 2004 11:03 pm

Tomorrow (October 15) is Maggie's birthday as well as the anniversary of her death, and I'm so, so sad.

It's strange how these things work. Last year October 15 was barely a blip on my emotional radar; oh, look, my husband brought me flowers...wait, it's the 15th?! I almost felt guilty for forgetting the date, but I took it as a sign that I was healing.

This year it's been much diferent. I think it's because we've been discussing TTC since January and waiting for everything to fall into place, so my feelings on everything are very close to the surface, and I've been re-living the past on a regular basis as I try to envision what another pregnancy will be like.

I've cried no less than 4 times today, 3 of which were at work.

I'm not looking for answers or magic cures...I just wanted someone to share in my sorrow and remembrance as I take time to honor my beautiful, perfect baby girl. Thanks for listening.

Jenn
Missed miscarriage/D&C 14 weeks
Angel Maggie stillborn due to HELLP Syndrome & PIH at 19.5 wks
Miscarriage 6 weeks
Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS)
TTC #4 is a go...someday...after shoulder surgery...until something else comes up...
I'm putting my perinatologist's kids through college!
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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby angelkat » Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:45 am

by angelkat (3423 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:45 am

Jenn,

Sending you extra hugs today and always. No cures here, if there were a way to take the pain away I would share.



Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(14)PE 37 wks
Ky (12)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey - 34wks Born 7/29/04
Katlyne's Tribute Site
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Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V
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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby heatherbbb » Fri Oct 15, 2004 05:42 am

by heatherbbb (603 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 05:42 am

Birthdays alone are hard. I too bawled my eyes out at work on my son's birthday, and I rarely cry where someone could see. Then to add thinking of another pregnancy on top of that... I do think that mourning in itself is a way of honoring your precious baby because it shows how important she is to you. I'm wishing you the very best!

Heather (32)
Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE/HELLP 9/3/03-2/13/04
http://members.cox.net/heatherbbb/seth/seth.htm
Due with Joshua Allen -scheduled C-section @ 39 weeks (about Jan 20, 2005)
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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby mom2tori » Fri Oct 15, 2004 06:39 am

by mom2tori (3842 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 06:39 am

Jenn, I will be sending comforting thoughts and will keep you in prayer today as I am sure it will be a difficult day for you. Do your best to think of all the love and joy that Maggie has brought you and hold her extra close in your heart today and everyday. You are still her mommy and she is still your perfect baby girl. God be with you today and any day you need a little extra care.

Alissa mommy to:
Dominic 9/10/97-9/11/97
Victoria 1/8/02
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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby kdreher » Fri Oct 15, 2004 07:35 am

by kdreher (2482 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 07:35 am

Many warm wishes and hugs to you today Jenn. I know how you feel and there have been times over the past 9 1/2 years where Tyler's birth date and death date have come and I forgot...I felt like a bad person, but know he is with me always. It gets a little bit easier over time, but the "what if" nevers goes away.

We are on the road to TTC as well and I know my angel has a sibling he is ready to send to us. I wish you all the best.

Kris (35)
DH, Tom (34)
My Angel Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Hoping for a little miracle in 2005!

tkstevens@sbcglobal.net
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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby for faith » Fri Oct 15, 2004 08:27 am

by for faith (1749 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 08:27 am

Jenn ~ Sending lots of hugs to you today and as your TTC journey continues. Unfortunately there are no cures, just know that there are many of us who share your pain. I hope that today has some peaceful moments.

HUGS,

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH/mild PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC/Sepsis (preemie complications))
OUR LITTLE MIRACLE due 6/5/05

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 09/02
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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby josiah1112 » Fri Oct 15, 2004 09:43 am

by josiah1112 (1368 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 09:43 am

Yesterday, I gave in my notice for my November 12th absence
from school (work). I can't imagine getting through this day
while at work.

I know what you mean about the what if's. We will always think
of those. Thinking of you today and Maggie. I hope you do
something good for yourself today.

Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e
Moderator- Foro Latino
Future Adoptive Mom
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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby denise » Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:41 am

by denise (5480 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 12:41 am

Thinking of you today Jenn and sending lots of hugs.

-------
Co-coordinator for WI
Denise (28)
Jason (32)
Ariana (16 months)-born 5/3/03 at 35 weeks due to HELLP

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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby sweetiesuzy » Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:48 pm

by sweetiesuzy (2404 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:48 pm

Jenn,
Oh sweetie... I am so sorry you have to have this pain. It is the hardest thing to endure. Our children aren't supposed to die before us. I wish I could take away your pain. If I could - I would in a second. Please know that I am thinking of you and honoring your beautiful, perfect babygirl today.


Hugs, hugs, hugs,
Suzanna

Aaryngston ~ 3/25/95
Chloe Rose ~ 10/26/01 Stillbirth
Samuel Isaac ~ 12/30/02
Laura Elise ~ 7/19/04

"Children will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for"
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Re : Maggie's birthday

Postby julie f » Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:49 pm

by julie f (7993 Posts), Fri Oct 15, 2004 01:49 pm

Jenn,

Thinking of you and Maggie today. I pray for peace and comfort for you and Dh.

Much love to you,

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

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