by jenndola (1851 Posts), Thu Oct 14, 2004 11:03 pm
Tomorrow (October 15) is Maggie's birthday as well as the anniversary of her death, and I'm so, so sad.
It's strange how these things work. Last year October 15 was barely a blip on my emotional radar; oh, look, my husband brought me flowers...wait, it's the 15th?! I almost felt guilty for forgetting the date, but I took it as a sign that I was healing.
This year it's been much diferent. I think it's because we've been discussing TTC since January and waiting for everything to fall into place, so my feelings on everything are very close to the surface, and I've been re-living the past on a regular basis as I try to envision what another pregnancy will be like.
I've cried no less than 4 times today, 3 of which were at work.
I'm not looking for answers or magic cures...I just wanted someone to share in my sorrow and remembrance as I take time to honor my beautiful, perfect baby girl. Thanks for listening.
Missed miscarriage/D&C 14 weeks
Angel Maggie stillborn due to HELLP Syndrome & PIH at 19.5 wks
Miscarriage 6 weeks
Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS)
TTC #4 is a go...someday...after shoulder surgery...until something else comes up...
I'm putting my perinatologist's kids through college!