I'm in my second pregnancy after losing my first. I too hate it when people say, "It will all turn out fine", because you are right, no one has that crystal ball. They do not know. I think they somehow think they are comforting you when they say that. It just makes me want to punch them in the face (and I've never hit anyone in my life). Many people told me that while my son was fighting for his life in the NICU for 5 1/2 months. They were not right. It didn't turn out okay. He finally lost his battle with Chronic Lung Disease. However, I would like to ask you a couple of questions for you to evaluate. Are you getting any different medical treatment or doing anything different this time - like more frequent OB visits, monitoring your own blood pressure, taking baby aspirin (under a Doctor's care), been screened for underlying disorders (like blood clotting disorders, immune disorders, or genetic disorders). Have you seen a perinatologist or high risk OB? Let me tell you some of the things that I am doing that is helping me feel more proactive in my pregnancy. None of these things take away the fear of losing another baby, but they can empower us with a feeling that we are doing everything we can. I had the blood testing and found I have two blood clotting disorder for which I am taking blood thinner injections twice a day. I have been seeing my OB once a week since 24 weeks. At 28 weeks, I'll see my OB twice a week - one time to get an ultrasound (called a Bio Physical Profile) and one time to get a Non Stress Test. (Some OBs might consider this excessive, but the thought of it makes me feel better. Also, others at this website are seeing their OB more like every week or two weeks, it just depends on the OB and the situation.) The purpose of these tests are to catch problems early so we can manage them, even if that means an early delivery. I also take my blood pressure at home everyday so it will not get extremely high without my noticing (like it did last time). These things help me get through the days. I feel much better now that I have past my first delivery time (26 weeks, 6 days) I feel encouraged that if I get PE, we will catch problems early, I will be able to get steroid shots to help the baby's lung development, and we will be able to have a baby that will survive the NICU and come home with me. I have to hold on to that. I personally am not seeing a Peri, however my OB consults with a Peri in her practice about my case regularly. This works for me. I am very lucky to have an OB that is watching me so closely. Have you developed a plan with your OB for your care? Are you satisfied with the plan? Have you expressed your fears to your OB? If you are not satisfied with your OB, you have plently of time to find another that will meet your needs better. My heart goes out to you houstygirl. You are in a hard spot. However, you are not completely helpless. You have more knowledge this time. Your OB should also consider you high risk this time. You have a right to closer medical attention. (though I'm not sure where you are and what medical facilities are available). You also have every right to be frightened. There are many of us going through this with you. Like some have already said, take one day at a time. The days then add to weeks. I am wishing you the very, very best.
Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE/HELLP 9/3/03-2/13/04
Due with Joshua Allen -scheduled C-section @ 39 weeks (about Jan 20, 2005), Protein C deficiency & Lupus Anticoagulant (2 Heparin shots/day since 14 weeks)