Good for you -- it really is a huge step.
A dear friend of mine had a baby girl just 3 weeks after we had and lost Ila. We had gone through the pregnancy together, as it was the first for both of us -- took prenatal yoga classes together, etc. When we lost Ila it was hard on all of us. We all, she and her husband included, always felt she was having a boy, and somehow that seemed to make me feel a bit better. Well, she ended up having a girl, and I'm sad to say, it was very very hard on me. I felt very guilty as a friend and it took me literally weeks to be able to summon the courage to finally meet her, and hold her etc. In the end, it still was hard, but actually not as hard as I thought it would be (ie., I imagined myself drowning the poor little thing in tears!)
Anyway, just wanted to share that I too had been there, and congratulate you on taking such a huge step forward.
(I should sheepishly add, however, that I still shy away from holding most babies -- I never ask to hold them as I would have in the past, but moreso, will hold them if they are placed in my arms! Someday I know, this too, shall pass. A little at a time...)
Hugs to you.
angel Ila Elizabeth (02.06.04), 25w2d ~ severe pe/Class 1 HELLP
pea-in-the-pod, EDD 03.04.05 (37 weeks)