Held a baby for the first time since Ashley

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mel h.
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Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 01:44 pm

Held a baby for the first time since Ashley

Postby mel h. » Mon Nov 08, 2004 06:47 am

Well girls, I have to tell you that I was pretty proud of myself last night.
I held a baby for the first time since I held my little Ashley before she passed away in April after being born at 25 weeks.
I was pretty nervous about it because the women in my office are always bringing in their babies and I would just retreat because I didn't want to face it. But I knew eventually I would have to get past holding a baby for the first time so I could move on. Some good friends of ours were pregnant and due anytime, so I called them a few weeks ago and asked if they would put us on their call list when they went to the hospital. I think they were touched.
Anyway, our friend Chip called last night and said they had had their son at 3:30 a.m. and invited us to come up. My husband didn't want to, so I didn't push him. But I went, and it was OK! If anything, it really made me understand just how sick I really was when I had Ashley. Chip's wife Kelly was sitting up in a chair, eating dinner, had no IVs and felt great, even though she had to have a totally natural childbirth because it was too late for an epidural and she hadn't slept at all.
I feel like I've taken a major step in the grief process – FINALLY!
It also helps me to know that I'm finally able to be happy for someone else and that I understand that their situation is completely separate from ours.
Just wanted to share that. Thanks.


Melissa
Mom of Ashley Ann, born at 25 weeks on April 17 due to severe preeclampsia.


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