Held a baby for the first time since Ashley

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mel h.
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Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2004 01:44 pm

Held a baby for the first time since Ashley

Postby mel h. » Mon Nov 08, 2004 06:47 am

Well girls, I have to tell you that I was pretty proud of myself last night.
I held a baby for the first time since I held my little Ashley before she passed away in April after being born at 25 weeks.
I was pretty nervous about it because the women in my office are always bringing in their babies and I would just retreat because I didn't want to face it. But I knew eventually I would have to get past holding a baby for the first time so I could move on. Some good friends of ours were pregnant and due anytime, so I called them a few weeks ago and asked if they would put us on their call list when they went to the hospital. I think they were touched.
Anyway, our friend Chip called last night and said they had had their son at 3:30 a.m. and invited us to come up. My husband didn't want to, so I didn't push him. But I went, and it was OK! If anything, it really made me understand just how sick I really was when I had Ashley. Chip's wife Kelly was sitting up in a chair, eating dinner, had no IVs and felt great, even though she had to have a totally natural childbirth because it was too late for an epidural and she hadn't slept at all.
I feel like I've taken a major step in the grief process – FINALLY!
It also helps me to know that I'm finally able to be happy for someone else and that I understand that their situation is completely separate from ours.
Just wanted to share that. Thanks.

Mom of Ashley Ann, born at 25 weeks on April 17 due to severe preeclampsia.

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