I just wanted to let everyone know that the baby shower we had for my cousin last weekend was a huge success! They received so many wonderful things for their new little one.
I was fortunate to get all my emotions out a couple of days before. As you all know from my previous post that it was difficult shopping for this and getting everything ready. We had a party just to welcome them home (from Oregon)Friday night and we were all just sitting around visiting. A friend showed up that hadn't known we had lost our little Logan and something was said that led to my mom to telling her about our loss. My cousin just looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I don't know how you did it. You are such a strong woman. We're already so attached, I just don't know how you did it." She is exactly 25 weeks now, the same as I was when I delivered our son stillborn. Well, we all cried and hugged and I felt that it was so nice of her to acknowledge my emotions and I know she realized how difficult this would be for me.
There was a time or two during presents that I felt these little pangs deep down of sadness and hurt. For the most part though, I was just so happy for them. They look so happy and she looks so healthy that I just can't wait for them. They've been married as many years as my husband and I, 11 years now, and they've waited a very long time. I think, in a way, that this experience was somewhat healing.
Later that night my husband and I started to talk and I had a bit of a melt down. All of my emotions kind of sprang forth and really caught me off guard. I just couldn't stop crying. I missed Logan so much. I could still see his perfect, tiny little face. I remember what it was like to feel him move inside me and it still makes me sad. I know it's OK to be sad though, so I'm really OK with it. This is all part of the healing process (I think. I knew this shower would probably be hard, but I'm so glad that I did it! Thank you all for your continuous support![;)]
DH Bryan (32)
Mom & Dad to:
Talia - 7 (full term, no complications) 1-31-97
Logan - (Stillborn at 25w due to severe PE) 5-16-04 and 4 little Angels in Heaven