Survived the Shower

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby michal » Mon Nov 22, 2004 09:39 am

Hi Dee
You are a very brave strong women .I really admire you for what you did . I don't think I would be able to handle doing what you did .
I avoid baby showers , birth parties . If a friend has a baby , I make my husband give them the gift as it is too painful for me to to be around a newborn .
The only baby that I like being with is that of a friend who struggled for years to have a seccond child and finally succeeded . He was born a month before Dina died . I think because my friend went through so much to have her children she is far more understanding and I find it easier to be around her and her baby .
Mom to Tali , 6 , (HELLP 32 weeks,5/3/1998) mom to my first angel in heaven (HELLP , 20 weeks, 20/2/2002 ), mom to my seccond angel in heaven , Dina Haya Hodaya ( HELLP 25 weeks,4 days ,29/10/2003-4/11/2003)

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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby space_coaster » Wed Nov 10, 2004 07:48 pm

Hugs to you, Dee. I'm glad it all went well.

Jocelyn (36)
Mommy to Michelle Elizabeth, 8/25-9/1/04, 24w1d, 1 lb 3 oz, severe PE/HELLP syndrome

Michelle's memorial page:

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julie f
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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby julie f » Wed Nov 10, 2004 10:26 am


I am so glad things went well, I have been thinking about you. It can be so hard to take steps forwards sometimes, I am so happy that you were able to do so with this shower.

Julie (27)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Miracle in progress... #2 is due February 2005!!!

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for faith
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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby for faith » Wed Nov 10, 2004 09:37 am

Dee - So glad that it all turned out so good. So glad that you were able to have that moment with you cousin, I'm sure that added to your strength. I agree, you should be so proud of yourself, what a great step!!! Take care,

mommy to:
Tyler - 4 (36 wks, PIH/mild PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30 weeks due to severe PE, passed due to NEC/Sepsis (preemie complications))

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 09/02

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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby kdreher » Wed Nov 10, 2004 07:14 am

I"m so glad to hear that you made it through the shower and your feelings and loss were acknowledge by someone who really cares. You are very strong, and it helps for us to have a big cry at times. I commend your mother to, it is very hard on those grandma's who have to share their daughters story with others. I always here my mom talking about me, but I know how proud she is of me because she admires my strength.

I've been to 3 showers (one being my sister) in 7 months and I am always happy for them, but look forward to my shower one day!

(((hugs to you)))

Kris (35)
DH, Tom (34)
Connecticut, USA

Tyler 3-9-95 to 3-23-95 (26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Working on a little miracle for 2005!

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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby mel h. » Wed Nov 10, 2004 06:33 am

I'm glad you made it through the shower OK. I think it was very kind of your cousin to acknowledge your loss ... I think it's always worse when people try to pretend it didn't happen or minimize it. These things are painful, but sometimes it's good to work through the pain and come out the other side stronger. You've made a great step in the grieving process, so you should be proud of yourself!

Mom of Ashley Ann, born at 25 weeks on April 17 due to severe preeclampsia.

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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby heatherbbb » Wed Nov 10, 2004 05:08 am

You should be very proud of yourself!! You have a great attitude and you've made great progress with your grief. I'm glad that things went so well. I think it is very healthy to have a good cry once in a while (and this from someone that never used to cry). Thank you for sharing your experiences. They are very inspiring.

Heather (32)
Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE/HELLP 9/3/03-2/13/04
Due with Joshua Allen -scheduled C-section @ 39 weeks (about Jan 20, 2005), Protein C deficiency & Lupus Anticoagulant (2 Heparin shots/day since 14 weeks)

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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby angelkat » Wed Nov 10, 2004 04:05 am


I'm so happy for you that things went well. Tina is right as things do get easier as time passes but no always (a catch twenty two thing). I always just say you just never know what is going to effect you differently or what you can handle.

I'm sure it was a very tender moment for you and your cousin... Many hugs to you

Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(14)PE 37 wks
Ky (12)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey - 34wks Born 7/29/04
Katlyne's Tribute Site ... ope&Sort=V

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Re : Survived the Shower

Postby tinalowe » Wed Nov 10, 2004 01:33 am

*hugs* I am glad you survived it...the first things like that are always hard. The other day i found out a friend was pregnant and it was the first pregnancy i took well and can honestly say i was happy to hear it! It will get easier with time. Sending you many warm thoughts and prayers!

Tina 23
DH Dereck 26

Emma Victoria stillborn 12-28-03 severe pre-e

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Survived the Shower

Postby forlogan » Tue Nov 09, 2004 08:12 pm

Hello Everyone!
I just wanted to let everyone know that the baby shower we had for my cousin last weekend was a huge success! They received so many wonderful things for their new little one.

I was fortunate to get all my emotions out a couple of days before. As you all know from my previous post that it was difficult shopping for this and getting everything ready. We had a party just to welcome them home (from Oregon)Friday night and we were all just sitting around visiting. A friend showed up that hadn't known we had lost our little Logan and something was said that led to my mom to telling her about our loss. My cousin just looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, "I don't know how you did it. You are such a strong woman. We're already so attached, I just don't know how you did it." She is exactly 25 weeks now, the same as I was when I delivered our son stillborn. Well, we all cried and hugged and I felt that it was so nice of her to acknowledge my emotions and I know she realized how difficult this would be for me.

There was a time or two during presents that I felt these little pangs deep down of sadness and hurt. For the most part though, I was just so happy for them. They look so happy and she looks so healthy that I just can't wait for them. They've been married as many years as my husband and I, 11 years now, and they've waited a very long time. I think, in a way, that this experience was somewhat healing.

Later that night my husband and I started to talk and I had a bit of a melt down. All of my emotions kind of sprang forth and really caught me off guard. I just couldn't stop crying. I missed Logan so much. I could still see his perfect, tiny little face. I remember what it was like to feel him move inside me and it still makes me sad. I know it's OK to be sad though, so I'm really OK with it. This is all part of the healing process (I think. I knew this shower would probably be hard, but I'm so glad that I did it! Thank you all for your continuous support![;)]

Dee (31)
DH Bryan (32)
Mom & Dad to:
Talia - 7 (full term, no complications) 1-31-97
Logan - (Stillborn at 25w due to severe PE) 5-16-04 and 4 little Angels in Heaven

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