by mom2tori (3842 Posts), Wed Nov 24, 2004 11:45 am
Holidays sure can be rough. I do pretty well when we are out and about visting and that, but when we get home I get a little shaken up and teary/weepy. Everyone is having a good time and I watch Tori and think, she should be playing with her big brother right now, or there should be little boy stuff scattered around the house too. Tori is also growing up knowing that she has a big brother and what an impact he has had on my life and the person I am today is largely because of him. I usually light some candles for Dominic and we make a visit out to the cemetary. My husband or my mother usually buys me a gift from Dominic and I let Tori look through the photo album at pictures of Dominic-that helps to make him real to her and not just someone we talk about and never see. Tori recognizes the cemetary when we pull in and usually says something about seeing Dominic and playing with his trucks that are at the gravesite. I thank the Lord everyday for Tori and for the gift of love that only Dominic could teach me. I miss him terribly but have come to the place in my grief where I can look back without too many tears and actually feel blessed for having this perfect baby even though it wasn't long enough. I still feel incredibly close to him and find myself talking to him often. He is my first child and my first experience, taste and feeling of total,complete,incredible, unconditional love that only another mother can understand. I am praying for a good holiday season with many more reminders of the many blessings that I have, I wish the same to all of you.
Alissa mommy to: