Well, this is our first holiday season without Isaiah - last year he was in my tummy for Thanksgiving and I couldn't beart to be with the people we were with last year. Plus a number of people that I was pregnant with are pregnant with the next one now. It hurts so much; I am happy for them but it is hard to express. We ended up having a Turkey party here at our house with a bunch of other Americans and my bosses and their families, plus a few friends. It was the best thing that we could have done. We did go around the room to say what we are thankful for. My DH mentioned Isaiah and it was beautiful. I am nervouse about Christmas and New Year's because I think all of last year's horrbile memories will come flooding back. The worst part is that I went in hosptal last year on 22 December and was there on Christmas, New Year's and so on. These holidays will never be the same and I wonder if I will ever have holiday joy again. However, we will be in the States from 12 December - 7 January and I am really hoping not being here will help. Any of you guys living in California, I might need to call on you for some support (and I will also dish it out!). I truly wish you all peace this season.
Mommy to Isaiah Dumisani Millhouse
20 January - 17 February 2004
Born at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia
Died at 28 days old of pneumonia
610 grams at birth
950 grams at death
My Angel Boy
"My firstborn, I will never forget you, always love you, and never replace you"