I'm so sorry you had a difficult appointment with the presence of notching- especially after loosing a lil' one any bump in a subsequent pregnancy can be emotionally devastating.
Keep in mind this is a different pregnancy, you are a different mama having had your lil' one, and your team is also coming at your pregnancy from a different approach with eyes wide open to your history. All of this makes a huge difference and the presence of notching does not mean the same outcome. It means you'll continue to be monitored closely. There have also been mama's on the boards who have had notching and gone on to have very healthy pregnancies.
Keep posted as you're able and lean when you need. Pregnancy after loss can be an extremely emotional ride. I found it very beneficial to see a therapist who could guide me through strategies to keep as relaxed as possible and to vent through all the fear.
Keeping you and your lil' one in my thoughts.
2008-Our Baby Girl, PTL born too early at 30w6d, Fought so hard... Forever Loved & Missed
2010- Lil' Bro, Pre-E at 29 weeks... Induced at 36w6d, Born 37w
2012- Lil' Sis, Super-imposed pre-e at 25 weeks, PTL & GD at 35 weeks, Evicted 36w