Feeling frustrated and silly

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.
lucy
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby lucy » Sat Oct 07, 2006 07:35 pm

Bedrest is tough and it is totally understandable how you felt I remember many tears and frustration while on bedrest, many hugs and hang in there.

nborrayo
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby nborrayo » Sat Oct 07, 2006 02:17 pm

I am so sorry! I think people just don't realize what they are saying. I know my own mother has said that "anything, I mean ANYTHING I can do.." line before, but when it comes down to it, everyone is very busy and unless they are there with you, they don't understand the isolation. I would think that they would be receptive if you mentioned to them that you really take what they say to heart and it is hard for you - and your son - when they flake. I hope they come to their senses!

crystalclear
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby crystalclear » Tue Oct 03, 2006 02:26 am

dont feel so low... you can spend your time with us here on the forums, chatting away. i know it feels crappy and you feel like you've been abandoned....

Sending you hugs!

mom2tori
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby mom2tori » Mon Oct 02, 2006 09:56 pm

I am so sorry that you and Sean didn't get the playdate you were so counting on. I think for people who haven't been where you are right now it is hard for them to understand how important it is to have that human contact and face to face chat. I hope that they are able to come visit soon. Sounds like you need a good friend to sit for a while and chat with you. Thinking of you and sending a {{{hug}}} your way

khailibowen
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby khailibowen » Mon Oct 02, 2006 09:53 pm

Thanks for the support. I know these preggers hormones are just crazy, so they make things that much worse. I do plan on being a bit more specific about mine and seans needs in this case. I don't want anyone to visit out of guilt, but I am thinking that, like some mentioned, perhaps they just didn't realize what it would mean to me. I don't even think I realized it until it was too late.

mommajo
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby mommajo » Mon Oct 02, 2006 09:26 pm

I'm sorry your friends let you down, if I lived anywhere close to Peoria I would come and bring my DS for a play date with you. (((hugs))) Maybe you could call your friends and explain how isolated you feel and that it would mean a great deal to you for them to visit. I'm sure they don't understand and some people really need things spelled out for them.

akemt
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby akemt » Mon Oct 02, 2006 09:25 pm

I thought I'd add something about "feeling silly"...blame it on the hormones!

I had a friend that started bawling on the drive to our house (while pregnant, obviously) because she saw a muffler on the side of the road and felt sorry for whomever was driving around without it. Now, compared to a random, stranded muffler, being let down by friends and seeing your son let down as well is much more tear-worthy, IMO.

akemt
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby akemt » Mon Oct 02, 2006 06:20 pm

I can relate to feeling trapped at home without outside contact!

Honestly, I think people tend to be too busy to think of what isn't out in the open and don't take the time to try to be considerate. They probably thought of it like any other play date and figured you wouldn't be all that upset, when had they thought about your current situation (or reflected on past discussion or experience), they'd have seen it means much more than "just another play date" to you. Does that make sense? So yes, I do understand it. I'm not excusing them; it's still disrespectful not to atleast call and let you know.

Perhaps if you have the control to do so without negativity (ha ha, I wouldn't), you can let them know what such a play date means to you right now and see if there is a way to prevent this happening again. Maybe they'd like a reminder call the day before to see if they're still interested and plan on attending? Yah, more effort for you, but atleast your expectations wouldn't be dashed at the last minute and you could try to plan ahead for ds? And maybe you could use that call to get in some much-needed adult conversation time, even if not in person.

I'm sorry and hope you and ds enjoyed the afternoon regardless,

sonja
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Re : Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby sonja » Mon Oct 02, 2006 05:33 pm

That does sound frusterating. I have learned not to expect too much from most other moms. It seems that we are moms in a time when people don't RSVP and can blow off a "date" without thinking twice about it. This does not include everyone - I know some wonderful women who would not do this, and when I find them I cherish my friendships with them. Let them know that you would love to have some adult interaction and would love to set up a standing date that you can depend on. Maybe they thought that it was just a "come by if you feel like it" kind of thing. I hope that it gets better! We are always here for you.

Joy

khailibowen
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Feeling frustrated and silly

Postby khailibowen » Mon Oct 02, 2006 03:55 pm

Recently I was put on house arrest, meaning, taht while I am not on bedrest I can't really do much of anything either. I can't go shopping, run errands, take ds to playdates, or anything worth nesting about. We have been handling it well because I can play with him and we can go in the back yard and such. Well, I had planned with a couple of friends to bring their kiddo's here today and we would all go into the back yard and the kids can play and the momma's can talk. We have a large fenced yard so there is lots of exploration room and tons to play with. They all came last week and we had planned that this would be a weekly thing until I can no longer handle it or I get put onto more restricted activity.

So 10am comes and goes and around 10:30 I call one friend and she "totally forgot" [:(] I call my other 2 friends and neither are home nor do they have cell phones so I can't get ahold of them. My one friend says she'll get her kids ready and head on over, but at 11:30 she calls back saying she can't make it. Ds has been standing by the door asking where his friends are and when will they get here. I get totally emotional and so frustrated. We are handling this restricted activity well, but today we had all our hopes up for some companionship and we were just blown off. I call my dh and start to cry over the phone, I felt so silly, here I am a grown women crying because my friends can't come over to play, it is so frustrating because we had planned for it and I even got the house cleaned up a bit [8D]. Dh took lunch off to go out and buy us some food and bring it home to us, which was very sweet, we ate it in the backyard while sean dug in his sandbox.

So many times I hear "just let us know if you need anything" but does anyone really mean it. We don't "need" anything tangeble, dh can do the errands and the shopping and can take off work in a minute if we need something done, but what we do "need" is some human contact from time to time. Someone for sean to play with, other mommas for me to just chat with, yet that is what seems to be what is missing. I'm just so frustrated and can't imagine another several weeks (or months) of this.


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