Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

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Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby kimpaulus00 » Tue May 04, 2004 09:57 am

Well, after thinking (and in a way fearing) that I would need Clomid and an IUI to become pregnant, I discovered that I was pregnant again. I am glad I took that pregnancy test before starting the Provera (if the test was negative, I was filling the Provera that day). Right now, based on LMP, I am only 6.5 weeks, but considering that the pregnancy test was not positive till day 35, I figure that I am closer to 5.5 weeks.
Anyway, now that I am pregnant again, I keep feeling like the other shoe is going to drop. So, I worry with every twinge or pain (most of which have been gas -- lots of gas -- anyone else have that problem?), I am constantly afraid that this pregnancy will end in miscarriage (although I am on progesterone -- level was 8.7 better than the 7.4 with Allison) or that I will lose this child as well. How did anyone else deal with those fears or how are you dealing with these fears? Or am I just plain crazy (you would not be the first to say so :-) )?
I have great doctors (cardiologist who is wonderful) and a peri (who seemed VERY positive at the pre-pregnancy consultation). Unfortunately, the insurance is being picky about where I see the peri, but her assistant (who is also a wonderful person) is going to see what she can do and told me not to worry about that.
Even with the great doctors and the knowledge obtained since losing Allison (about pre-E and the clotting issues that I have), I am still living in constant fear and apprehension. I keep feeling like I have to prepare myself for the worst all of the time and I would like to enjoy this pregnancy, but I just feel like I can't. Any advice, help, encouragement, knowledge from those "been there, done that" would be GREATLY appreciated.
Thanks!
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby mada » Tue May 04, 2004 10:04 am

I know just how you feel sweetie. It's so hard because we want to rejoice finding out the news and at the same time we are terrified we are doomed. It's so encouraging to know you have great doc's and even a great assistant helping you with all the insurance bologna!! There have been some wonderful success stories from women who have lost their precious babies and went on to have healthy wonderful pregnancies!! Hang in there and know we are here for you whenever you are afraid or need to "Talk".....

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby mada » Tue May 04, 2004 10:04 am

Oh, BY the way!!! CONGRATS!!!!!!!

Mada Harpster

Sam 6-29-00 36weeks P.E.
Ben 11-03-01 No P.E.
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby catherine » Tue May 04, 2004 10:14 am

Congratulations!!!!!

You are going to be a nervous wreck! That isn't a joke. It's just a fact. The good news is that the fear and worry come and go. Right now it's going to be an endless round of "do I feel pregnant enough", interspersed with feeling physically bad, but mentally good because symptoms are "positive" KWIM. As time passes, you feel more confident, then terrible, then more confident, then very fearful and so on..........

The good news? We're all here, we know exactly how you feel. We won't laugh at you, tell you that you are being silly, we'll understand when the tiniest bit of swelling makes you bawl crying....

Over time you will develop coping methods, manicures (my personal trick), massages, whatever. I can't guarantee a smooth ride, but we'll provide support for the bumps.

Way to go Kim!

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby catherine » Tue May 04, 2004 10:16 am

Now go....

... go post in Laura's cool new happy section.... the "We've done it!"

[:D][:D]

Catherine
Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby pugmommy7 » Tue May 04, 2004 10:18 am

Setting small goals helped me a lot. I celebrated a little each week that passed.
I know what it was like in those first months, checking my panties constantly, freaking out each time I felt a twinge.
But somehow or another, God brought me through.(so far)

My prayers and well wishes are with you.
Try to accept the warm support here at the pf. They have helped me so much.
God Bless you.
Love, J


Mama to Bella,1/02/03, born 33 and 5/7 weeks at 3 lbs,6oz.Pre-E,& borderline HELLP.
Babygirl #2,EDD 6/24/04
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby angelkat » Tue May 04, 2004 12:10 am

I'm still a wreck. Each day I say Thank you Jesus for another day that my baby is safe inside. When I hit my 2nd Tri I thought finally out of the woods but then more fear set in about what if and when. I'm still so freaked out that I haven't even went shopping for Casey to get him clothes. I did get a pack and play only because it was on sale and 1/2 price, but my mind is telling me not to buy to much as it will just need to be packed away next to the Katlyne's things.

I have spoken many times to my doctors about my fears, they are all so understanding and want only what's best for me. We have decided that 35 weeks is when I will dil (if things are good otherwise sooner) so I have a count down (13 more weeks to go)

Prayers for strength to get you through the hard days.....

Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
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Ky (11)
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03) & Casey (EDD 09/10 or 09/11-Sure he will be here in Aug)
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby twolfgram » Tue May 04, 2004 06:27 pm

quote:
Originally posted by angelKat

I'm still so freaked out that I haven't even went shopping for Casey to get him clothes. I did get a pack and play only because it was on sale and 1/2 price, but my mind is telling me not to buy to much as it will just need to be packed away next to the Katlyne's things.

Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(13)
Ky (11)
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03) & Casey (EDD 09/10 or 09/11-Sure he will be here in Aug)
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/lifestory.cfm?Archive_ID=10971&Directory=/Archives/MountHope&Sort=V



I feel EXACTLY the same way!! I hate feeling like I'm not excited about this baby, but I am scared to let my mind do it. With Erik, I was sooo afraid I'd get HELLP again and have a preemie, losing him altogether never entered my mind. Especially since the pg was perfect! I can't even imagine myself with a baby amd I feel so badly about that! Sorry, didn't mean to rain on anyone's parade, I've been really emotional lately! I, too, want to enjoy this pg, for it will be my last, but don't feel I can. My docs are great and I'm in good hands, but we'll see! Hang in there!

Therese Mom to
DS 10/4/95
DS Stillborn 12/20/02
And "Baby dot" - EDD 9/11/04!
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby josiah1112 » Tue May 04, 2004 08:02 pm

Congratulations, Kim!! I wish you a LONG and uneventful
pregnancy. I just wanted to say, that the gases you are
experiencing may actually be from anxiety... My doctor
had recommended Gas-X, but I do not know if it is safe
during pregnancy. Take Care,



Gloria mom to Josiah 11/12/03- 12/4/03 @ 26wks pre e

Future Adoptive Mom
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Re : Pregnant again, but fear, worry, apprehension here

Postby pugmommy7 » Wed May 05, 2004 06:16 am

For some reason my post from last night didn't show up here...
anyhow,
T,
Please don't think like that. Try to stay positive,(easier said...)
I am praying so hard for you!

BTW, I love the name Casey!!!

The rest of you mommies are in my paryers as well.
I would have never made it this far(mentally) without the incredible support here at thr pf.

I hope ya'll find the same.

I know what it is like.
Sometimes I get to thinking, thank God I didn't die, and what if I did?,
Or what if they did have to do the hystorectomy??
But then I realize that those kinds of thoughts(or dwelling on them) won't get me anywhere.
This is what God had planned for me. And If that stuff would have happened it would have been in his plan.

***(I happen to be a very spiritual person, I know not everyone feels the same as me, so I hope it isn't coming off preachy).

Try to stay pos!!!
Love, J

Mama to Bella,1/02/03, born 33 and 5/7 weeks at 3 lbs,6oz.Pre-E,& borderline HELLP.
Babygirl #2,EDD 6/24/04
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