I can't do this again... update

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.
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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby sarab » Wed May 12, 2004 10:13 am


I have been out of town for the last few days, hope you're feeling ok. I just e-mailed you.

PLEASE let me know what I can do to help.


Sara, 23
Local Coordinator, Utah

DH, Scott, 26
Maggie Lylas, 6/9/03, 29 weeks, severe pre-e

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby iansmom » Sun May 09, 2004 04:51 am

You sound like me! I would have NEVER let someone clean my house or do my laundry before this pregnancy. I've been restricted from house chores since December - yeah right! I kept doing & doing, so DH never had to. My family is not here, but his mom & dad are. They each helped a couple of times, then grandma says "WHY? That's DH's responsibility?" So we were on our own again for a while. Now, my father-in-law has a new girlfriend who lives to clean (literally). So, at first I felt so weird sitting on the couch while they cleaned, but now that I truly can't do it on my own, I have gotten over it. Last time, she took all the dirty laundry to a laundromat and brought it home the next day. That was awesome. Now DH can keep up with a load every couple of days. Check around for a laundromat with drop off service - a little pricey, but well worth it right now. Maybe after DH pays the bill a couple of times he'll get motivated. Good luck, BTW, where are you?

Ian 12/26/01 - 26 weeks P/E & HELLP
#2 EDD July 15, 2004

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby paljane8 » Sat May 08, 2004 09:22 pm

Hey Rebecca,

Don't you love when they put you on bedrest and then ask you to come in 3 days a week?! All I can say is enjoy your field trips and hang on a little longer!

Nancy Eastwood
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Scott-4yrs (PE)
Janie-5/03 (PIH, oligo and low blood flow)

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby pugmommy7 » Sat May 08, 2004 07:42 pm

See if church has a Mom's group.
I am a member of a local area Mom's group that my cousin runs online.(Non-religious)
We get together and when someone needs help, we all pitch in. Sometimes it might be brainstroming- like right here, right now;)
Check out yahoo groups.(areamom'sgroups for ex., w/ your city/state.)
Maybe a local forum for preemie moms...
I am just throwing stuff out here.

I do think ya' just haveta let the house go. Your health is the most important priority, You have to take care of you!

But I know how it is, when you feel out of control b/c of the mess.

You are in my prayers. I will be thinking!!!

Mama to Bella,1/02/03, born 33 and 5/7 weeks at 3 lbs,6oz.Pre-E,& borderline HELLP.
Babygirl #2,EDD 6/24/04

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby catherine » Sat May 08, 2004 07:31 pm

Rebecca, you aren't a whiner and while 28 weeks is good, longer would be much better. I do know how hard it is to move to a new place when you are pregnant, I moved to a new city at 30 weeks pregnant with my first child. I'm wracking my brains to see if I can think of any good way for you to look for some supportive help. I think that you need to phone the folks at your new church. Just because you are new doesn't mean that you shouldn't ask for their help. I know that even having someone come by and just take the little ones for a walk so that you could have some quiet amongst the rubble would probably help. Perhaps DH, "the slug" could ask amongst colleagues at work. Possibly one of them has a high-school aged daughter who would be willing to come by and just do some little chores. Approach neighbors too. I'm sure that you are very embarassed, I would be too. However, sometimes... you just have to bite the bullet. Besides, people can surprise you with their kindness. I always tell people that it was my next-door neighbor who drove me to the hospital the night I got sick.... and she never got the chance to run away.. in fact.. she ended up sitting in the funky tyvek suit with the hat and holding my hand through my C-section!!!! Her husband took care of my son. Other neighbors picked my husband up at the airport and drove him to the hospital. Colleages of ours from work spent days and nights with me at the hospital. I have one other neighbor from the street who delivered her daughter by C-section 36 hours after Lucy was born. Nevertheless, her sister arrived with a card and flowers into my hospital room 2 days later and her husband brought us dinner for 10 the first night I was home from the hospital. I was stunned, we'd only been living in the state 9 months at the time. I hope that someday I get a chance to pay it forward.

Mom to Finn, Lucy (preeclampsia and HELLP) and Chloe.
Moderator HELLP Syndrome Survivors

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby deerhart » Sat May 08, 2004 04:44 pm

LOL Rebecca
Having 3 kids I would think would be enough to make the house a mess. Heck my 2 kids and 2 dogs keep the house just meesy enough that we can't keep up, let alone adding another child and bedrest.
Further, we, as the home owner, tend to see the house being messier then it truely is.


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Mommy to Alex and Mason

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby 3preemiekidz » Sat May 08, 2004 03:21 pm

Thanks all
I don't mean to complain, I mean it's really my fault for the way my DH acts. I should be a slug and just not do anything but because I get up and take care of things, he thinks everything is fine so he doesn't help out even more. I have lots of family here, unfortunately, they are all working or in school and can't help out. Besides, who would want to help watch 3 kids under 4? We just moved here a couple of months ago so I don't know anyone and I've only been to church twice so they really aren't much help either. On top of that, I'd be so embarrassed for anyone to come and help me. My house is such a mess. I know for all of it's understandable but for anyone who hasn't been put on bedrest, they just can't see why my house is such a pig sty.

Good news is, I'm 28 weeks today. I'm sure I'll be fine. Just understand if I come on here and complain a lot. Other than lots of swelling, things are looking up. Blood pressures are pretty stable at 130/80.

Mom to Audri 4,
Ezra 2 1/2,
Liya 1
and #4 EDD 8/1/04
born at 35, 29 and 31 weeks due to Pre-e/HELLP

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby april » Fri May 07, 2004 12:44 am


I viewed the pics of your Alayna and she is sooo cute! How is this preg going for you so far?

dd-Natalie 3/10/04(pasted away after 1 hr.) induced labor at 23wks and 5 days due to severe PH/HELLP

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby meljoi » Fri May 07, 2004 06:32 am

my heart goes out to you.
I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I fear the words "bedrest" during this pregnancy and think my DH's response would pretty much be the same as yours.
Hang in there.
I'm thinking about you.

Melissa Joi 32
DH Jeremy 43
mama to Peyton John 12/04/00 (severe pre-e @ 38wks)
2nd babe due 11/26/04

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Re : I can't do this again... update

Postby angelkat » Fri May 07, 2004 05:20 am


What state do you live in?.... Maybe if one of the members live close to you they can stop by and help out.

I'm so sorry your giong thru all of this.

Sending you HUGE HUGS

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