June is going to be long... (venting)

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.
ladybug76135
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby ladybug76135 » Thu Jun 04, 2009 12:19 am

I personally would hire someone to cook and clean and let you play with Miles! You may have to be more gently play- coloring, playdo, etc but would allow you to spend time with your kiddo and get those things done that need done.

Just my $.02.



cara
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby cara » Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:39 am

Yep, mine is AGR as well! 4 days of the week, he's 2 hours away on Post and I'm at home with the kiddos...well I work full time but after work, it's just more work!

How nice...no drill...even though he got the AGR slot, they are making him do the rest of his company command time so he still has drill and AT, which is the pits but oh well. Not much I can do about it! If he wants to get promoted, he's gotta have that time in.

I used word of mouth to hire this lady. She still cleans the house once a week too. We have a neighborhood email chain and I sent out an email to everyone on there plus everyone I knew in town and I got a ton of responses with people willing to help out!

milesymommy
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby milesymommy » Thu Jun 04, 2009 08:49 am

Good luck with your baby! Wow - you're close! I take it DH is NG? My husband is active national guard, so he has regular full time duties plus weekend drills and AT. This weekend is a drill... and hopefully he can show up late since he doesn't fly in until 4 PM tomorrow. He's getting a new position that won't require drill or AT... yippee!!! Just in time for baby.
I still need to look into hiring someone. It sounds like you had a great arrangement - something like that is what I need. Most sites to use are blocked from work (I have no idea how this one isn't) and I barely have time at home to pay the bills. Probably by the time I look DH will be done with travel and I won't need it anymore! lol

cara
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby cara » Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:42 pm

I'd hire someone for sure. I hired a sitter for one night a week all year last year when DH was in Iraq. I only did the first trimester of this pregnancy alone (we got pg on his R&R) but I was so tired that that one night that I didn't have to entertain a 4 and a 2 year old was welcomed. I think having someone around the house while you do cook or clean will be good for you and him...or hire someone to cook and clean while you play! The same lady that watched the boys every Thursday also came every Monday while we were gone to give the house a nice scrubbing down ;)

The next 2 weeks he's on his annual training and I'm not joking, I shipped the kids off to my mom's house as I am due on the 28th and I just cannot keep up with them right now with no help. I have no idea how the heck single mommas do it!

Good luck and the month will go faster than you know and when it's over, you'll be amazed at how well you did!

milesymommy
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby milesymommy » Tue Jun 02, 2009 08:49 am

Thanks for the support. Maybe hiring someone will be good and not selfish. I work all day and Miles is in daycare, so I feel like my time home I need to give Miles as much attention as I can (while cooking, cleaning, etc). I know all working moms must feel this way. I want time to relax (and I need to relax), but feel selfish for doing so.
No family in the area... my MIL is only 4 hours away, and she said she'd come down and help when baby is born, but every other time we've invited her down there's been one reason or another why she can't. DH went to Panama in January and I asked her then (and threw in a weekend at a resort nearby)... she didn't feel well, weather was unpredictable, didn't want to drive and my FIL had to work so he couldn't drive her down... yeah, you get the idea. She's "the plan" for helping when I have baby, but I am not confident that she'll even come down then. At least Miles being in daycare gives us the advantage that if I go on bedrest, he'll just stay in daycare so I can actually rest, and when we have baby, that takes care of half the day at least.
I've heard of "mothers helpers" that do things like cook and clean... but I'm not sure how much they cost. Its probably easier to hire a babysitter to just come over and play with Miles a couple hours. And it will help him get used to someone new (with me still there) so maybe DH and I can have a date night.
I got to talk to DH for a little while last night. I forgot to sign up for the international plan last time and had a huge phone bill at the end of the month. So I called yesterday and for $10 we have 300 minutes. He forgot about the time difference this morning and went to the gym (thinking he'd be back in the room and we'd talk before I went to work), but by the time he was done working out I was already dropping Miles off at daycare. Oh well, at least I'll get to talk to him tonight.
I used to have a hard time falling asleep when he wasn't home... but I am so exhausted now that I didn't have any problem falling asleep last night. lol
Thanks for listening.

brianned5
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby brianned5 » Tue Jun 02, 2009 07:40 am

Hiring someone to help out isn't the least bit selfish. I can only imagine how hard it is to be without DH for that period of time. If my DH is working late I can't get to sleep until he's next to me. Great BP!

missgamecock
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby missgamecock » Tue Jun 02, 2009 06:40 am

Do you have any family or friends that can help. Dh went away for 6 weeks last summer when I was in the first trimester and on bedrest for bleeding. That was fun with a 3 year old... NOT. I had family and friends to help. She was also in daycare.

trish
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby trish » Mon Jun 01, 2009 04:22 pm

Hiring a teen sounds great to me! It's not like you wouldn't be seeing him & playing with him all morning, eating dinner with him & putting him to bed at night! I'm not even pregnant & my husband is in town but I'm gonna do it this summer. LOL! I just talked to one of the nursery workers at church today (it was a VBS work day) and asked if she would be interested in coming over for like 2 - 2 1/2 hours in the afternoon this summer & she said yes. She loves my baby & my older girls adore her. She came over one Saturday for several hours to watch them while hubby & worked on projects together around the house.

That way my older girls can play outside with supervision & I have someone to trail after Ali while I get stuff done in the house. Ali used to be willing to stay in the pack & play or jumperoo for some of our outside time but she's 17 months now & wants to do everything her big sisters do. Meanwhile the laundry & dishes pile up & dinners get thrown together. I'm hoping with some help I'll be less stressed & more fun when I *am* with them - you know what I mean? (((HUGS)))

Don't feel guilty for asking for (or hiring) help!! Being a sole care giver, all day everyday is draining even if you are not pregnant!!

sonja
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby sonja » Mon Jun 01, 2009 03:59 pm

It hits me when my dh is gone for just one night how tough it must be to be a single parent or one whose dh travels a lot. I think that hiring someone to come in for a few hours a day would be a great idea - if you want all of your attention going to Miles then have her help with cleaning, cooking and errands. You will have a lot on your plate coming up - let someone else take some of the burden off of you so that you can focus on the really important things - you and your boys.

Take care.

mom29
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Re : June is going to be long... (venting)

Postby mom29 » Mon Jun 01, 2009 03:46 pm

Actually, hiring a teen to help sounds like a great idea and is not selfish at all. Pregnant moms need a break.


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