Unsure of how to proceed with bed rest....

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.
apd
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Re : Unsure of how to proceed with bed rest....

Postby apd » Mon Oct 18, 2010 01:23 pm

there's a site called caring page (or the caring page - google it). It allows people to sign up for specific help like delivering dinner once a week at 6 pm. I would put it together and send it out to all of the people who said they would help. If you're on facebook, I'd put out a call for help. Can family help monetarily even if they're not near? That way you can hire a cleaning lady. Peapod for food if you have that service. You also need to figure out what will get your husband to help (easier said than done I know). Does he need a list, to run out of clean underware, or do you need to stop cleaning in protest for him to see what happens in a week or two? Does he need to watch NICU on TV to remind him what you all are up against? Does he have a family member that could talk some sense into him?

Good luck - you're in a crappy situation right now - one that we hope lasts for a long time rather than a week or two!

kara
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Re : Unsure of how to proceed with bed rest....

Postby kara » Mon Oct 18, 2010 10:40 am

Are you affiliated with any sort of group or house of worship? Those are great places to seek help. Sometimes friends and family need you to tell them what you need. I'd draft and email with the days you need help and exactly what you need- a meal, laundry helper, someone to take the kids for certain time frame, etc. They may not understand bedrest and not know what you need. We find with searching for volunteers here at the PF if you give offer a specific duty and/or time frame people are more than happy to help out.

korie
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Re : Unsure of how to proceed with bed rest....

Postby korie » Mon Oct 18, 2010 01:19 am

With my second I was on partial bed rest and my son was sleeping a lot at that point still so it worked fine. He slept in until 9 and took a 3 hour nap during the day so I got a lot more rest. This time it is just so much more difficult. I would love to just let go of the things not getting done, but we need clothes washed and food to eat and the kids have to be taken care of so I am not sure how to ignore the things that are a must. :/ I do think part of the issue with my husband is that I am very on edge about my pregnancy and extremely snappy with everyone. I wish I could stop being so crabby all the time. :( I am sure it is not helping anything. I will look into the home helper. Not sure if they would do it while I wasn't in the hospital, maybe if I end up on hospital bed rest though.

aundapenner
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Re : Unsure of how to proceed with bed rest....

Postby aundapenner » Mon Oct 18, 2010 00:50 am

(((Korie))) I have no idea how to handle it other than family and friends.

With Henry, I was in Ohio when I was pregnant and on bedrest. He was our first, so while Alex did everything, it wasn't so bad because it was just us and 2 little doggies.

With Sofia, I was on bedrest here in Germany. They have something called household help - someone who came in and did everything I would normally do. It was very helpful with a 2 year old.

Is it possible through your insurance to get a home health aid? (My mom's husband suffered a stroke and they now have one ... which is why I think of it. I never thought of it when I was in Ohio.)

Other than that, the only advice I have is to really let go of what you see not getting done and the irritation you sense from hubby. Maybe it's not so much irritation as it is fear of you having PE again.

korie
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Unsure of how to proceed with bed rest....

Postby korie » Sun Oct 17, 2010 11:49 pm

Hi all. I am 27 weeks in the morning. I know this site is about to shut down for a week, but hopefully the week will be uneventful. I am having some issues with what to do about bed rest.

When I first went on bed rest 2 weeks ago, I had tons of people saying how they were going to help me and yet most have not actually offered anything concrete. I have 2 young kids and my husband works long hours. He can have a day or two a week where he doesn't work as late, but most days he isn't home before 6. I have help for 3 days this week and then nothing after this. My husband seems like he is getting resentful about me expecting him to do so much around the house. I have still done all the cooking and shopping, but he is suppose to be doing the cleaning. I have often had to do some of that as well because he either doesn't have time or won't do it.

I am feeling like it is more stress trying to figure out where to bring my kids and seeing all the stuff that isn't getting done if I don't do it. I am crabby with my kids because I am trying to lay down and they are just on me all the time, they are 4 and 2. I am so tired of this and sort of thinking I should give up even trying to be on bed rest it is causing me a lot of stress and frustration.

How has everyone else handled this bed rest thing?


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