How to handle toddler while in hosp for c-section

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.
jenmatt1
Registered User
Posts: 566
Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2009 04:10 pm
Location: Florida

Re: How to handle toddler while in hosp for c-section

Postby jenmatt1 » Mon Jan 10, 2011 09:08 am

Lizard- I elected a c-section. When I had my daughter I was admitted for HELLP. They were going to induce but I could not have epidural because my platelet count was so low. But then my daughter's heart rate started racing then falling in utero so they decided not to take any chances and do an emergency c-section. This time around, I was so nervous about the same thing happening, so I choose the c-section. For me, I felt it was the safer option and I didn't want to take any chances- but I know a lot of women at least discuss the VBAC with their doctors. I did discuss it briefly with mine- but just to make sure I understood all of my options. I think it depends on your circumstances and what you feel comfortable with. The 1st time I was under general anesthesia and it was a lot scarier. This time even with the c-section it was much more enjoyable because I was part of everything and my husband was in the room with me. It was amazing to hear his little cries and see him right after they took him out- I didn't get any of that with my daughter because she was being checked out and then brought to the NIC unit.
Mom to Olivia 4/4/2008 born at 34 1/2 weeks due to class I HELLP
Declan born 1/4/2011- no HELLP or PE- YEAH

lizard
Registered User
Posts: 145
Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 7:27 pm

Re: How to handle toddler while in hosp for c-section

Postby lizard » Mon Jan 03, 2011 03:05 pm

jenn
you may have mentioned this somewhere but are you electively having a csection or do you have to? i am curious what my circumstance will be when the time comes in another 6wks or so. i would like a VBAC but who knows what will happen.

trish
Forum Moderator
Posts: 2949
Joined: Sun Jul 22, 2007 05:36 pm

Re: How to handle toddler while in hosp for c-section

Postby trish » Sat Jan 01, 2011 08:18 pm

With my 3rd my 2nd DD was 2 years 8 months too. :) And my oldest had just turned 4. My DH stayed with me and my folks had my girls. I had Ali like at 12:40 am so they came the next day. They said hi, held her & then just wanted to have jello & juice boxes from the "hospitality room". LOL!! They were having so much fun with the grandparents I don't think they cared that I wasn't leaving with them. We'd told them ahead of time that I was gonna stay in the hospital with the baby just like I had when they were born so they knew what to expect. Plus they'd been with both sets of our folks quite a bit over the last month with me on bedrest & multiple trips to L&D.

They came back again the next day to visit & again I think the snacks were the highlight of the trip!! The day we were supposed to take her home they came up with my in-laws but she ended up needing to stay under the bili lights so they just peeked her through the window. We went home that night but they stayed with the in-laws.

My advice is for you (and DH as much as possible) to stay at the hospital as long as possible. It is the only time in your lives where you will have that one on one time alone with baby while other people take care of your every need & bring food on demand. LOL! Kids - especially 2 years olds - don't have a good "time" awareness so she likely won't even notice how long you are gone - but you will cherish that time just with baby. :)
Trish: mama to my 3 PE Princesses:
Elizabeth 11/6/03 induced at 37 weeks for PE
Katie 4/13/05 induced at 38 weeks for PE
Allison 12/27/07 induced at 36 weeks for PE then PP PE & BP issues for over a year

jenmatt1
Registered User
Posts: 566
Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2009 04:10 pm
Location: Florida

Re: How to handle toddler while in hosp for c-section

Postby jenmatt1 » Thu Dec 30, 2010 03:41 pm

thanks Heather- that makes me feel better. My daughter is about the same age as your son was 2 years 8 months and I agree that it is not the same as a 6 or 7 year old in understanding what is going on.

Of course, I don't want it to seem like her whole world was changing in one minute. I also got them each gifts too- I thought it would be nice for him to "give" her a gift and her to give one to him, that way she felt connected to the whole scenario.

I do like the iyour idea of having the husband going home and brining her back by herself for a little while. I think I might do that instead of having inlaws bring her. I am also hoping I felt better by night 2 and 3 to let my DH stay home too with her- that way it is more stable for her.
Mom to Olivia 4/4/2008 born at 34 1/2 weeks due to class I HELLP
Declan born 1/4/2011- no HELLP or PE- YEAH

User avatar
heather j
Forum Moderator
Posts: 4883
Joined: Tue Jun 20, 2006 10:16 pm
Location: TN

Re: How to handle toddler while in hosp for c-section

Postby heather j » Thu Dec 30, 2010 02:23 pm

My first was not quite three (2 years, 9 months) when my last (Ella) was born. I felt the same way; I wanted him to feel as involved as he was capable of feeling, but also not have his life flipped upside down. In my experience, there is a big difference between introducing a new sibling to a two-year-old who may not fully grasp what's happening and an almost-four and six-year-old. My husband stayed with me after the section for several hours, and he left late afternoon to go get our son to bring him to my room to meet his new sister.

We wanted it to just be the three of us when he met Ella so he didn't feel pressure and it was low-key for him. They stayed for thirty minutes or so, and Ella "gave" him a new Thomas train engine as a gift. DH drove him back to my in-laws then he came back and stayed overnight with me. The next morning he went home to gather DS, grab some breakfast with him, and come for another short visit. He really wasn't super interested in Ella, but he wanted to check her out and do his own thing like push the buttons on the bed and walk to the vending machines. ;). The next two nights, I felt comfortable staying alone for the overnight hours so DH could stay home with DS. The day of discharge, he stayed with the grandparents at our house and helped them make dinner for our arrival at home.

It really did go smoothly ... much better than I anticipated. He was okay with me not picking him up or carrying him, and we took advantage of lounging on the sofa or bed together, too. I was most worried about 1) being coherent during the surgery (and scared I'd feel it) and 2) making sure Nicolas' needs were being met completely. I think what you're feeling is pretty common, and I'm sure you guys will handle it beautifully because you know your daughter better than anyone. It's close now!
Heather (PAI-1 4G/4G) mama to:
Nicolas Edison (6/2004) 36 weeks, PE, HELLP, and placental abruption
Ella Amelia (3/2007) 37 weeks, lovenox, PE-free
Oliver Lyon (1/2011) 37 weeks, lovenox, PE-free
Milo Mason (2/2014) 39 weeks PE-free

jenmatt1
Registered User
Posts: 566
Joined: Thu Dec 24, 2009 04:10 pm
Location: Florida

How to handle toddler while in hosp for c-section

Postby jenmatt1 » Thu Dec 30, 2010 12:13 am

I am scheduled to have c-section on Tuesday. My inlaws will be taking care of my 2 1/2 year old. I want to include her as much as possible but I also do not want her to feel left out if mommy can't pick her up. They have told me I will be there between 2 -4 days- most likely 3. I'd rather stay as long as possible to make sure everything is ok- but I also do not want my daughter to feel left out. My plan is to have baby Tues and then not have her or my inlaws come until Wed. I am worried about her wanting to leave me and go back home. Now I am wondering if she should just come on Thurs instead.

Any suggestions to make this transition smooth and with as little distraction to her as possible?
Mom to Olivia 4/4/2008 born at 34 1/2 weeks due to class I HELLP
Declan born 1/4/2011- no HELLP or PE- YEAH


Return to “Pregnant Again?”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 6 guests