Family knows - let the guilt set in!

[mymiracles2]

Well, bit by bit we are letting family know...and I am feeling super guilty right now. My one sister said, "why would you do that to your kids?' Arghhh...I am feeling pretty down right now...

[alviarin]

Wow. Why would your sister "do that" to you? I swear some people lack a filter between their brain and their mouth.

Personally, I put off telling my mom for a while because I wasn't ready to start listening to "helpful" health and diet advice all the time. (don't I wish eating more fruits & veggies could prevent pre-e).

And my kids are excited about the thought of a younger sibling.

[sam10]

ughh. Oh how much I love the "good" advice of well-meaning friends and family!
I understand your feelings of guilt. I remember when I was pregnant last year, I felt pretty terrible, as though I had put myself knowingly into trouble.
There is simply no easy way around this. I wish that family and friends could be sometimes more sensitive and understand how scary it is in the first place to attempt another pregnancy after PE.

[MomTimesThree]

Yeeeesh... doesn't matter how old ya are.. the old adage if you dont have anything nice to say dont say anything at all! Im so sorry your sister said such unkind words... if anyone should be feeling bad its her not you! Hope this pregnancy is smooth sailing and you can rub that in!

[Petunia]

I can't believe she said that to you! I almost have the opposite problem... my family seems to forget that I had preeclampsia and that it's probably what took my baby boy from me. They're all excited I'm pregnant again, eager to meet my rainbow baby, but it's frustrating because I feel like nobody understands how scary it is. They almost forget I had it because it was just overshadowed by losing our baby. I guess you can't win either way.

[JB]

That is a pretty unkind thing to say to you. I think that people who haven't gone through this really don't understand fully what it feels like.

I told my parents before I told my brothers, and my parents were very supportive. However, my mom told me that at Thanksgiving my brothers had been guessing when I would have another baby and that they all agreed that I wouldn't get pregnant again for at least two years because they thought I was "responsible." sigh. Also, I keep getting hints that some family members disapprove of my decision to have a scheduled repeat c-section, even though both my MFM and my OB have advised me that it is the safest option for me. They never flat-out tell me they disapprove, but they keep asking me why over and over again. It's totally frustrating.

[mymiracles2]

Thanks for all of your support and kind words:) It is a tough decision, and it doesn't mean that I love my other children any less. I am optimistic, we have to be. And though my track record isn't the greatest-this should predetermine this pregnancy. I know that my family cares about me and my health, I just wish I didn't feel as though I was doing something wrong. I am trying hard to push those thoughts aside, if not it will be a LONG road ahead

[trish]

(((HUGS)) What an awful thing for your sister to say! When I got pregnant with our 3rd I swear I felt like an unwed teen mom that was afraid to tell her mom she was pregnant!! I knew she would be upset and worried about me because of PE (even though I'd had it relatively mild with my 1st 2).

Hang in there!