Thanks guys. I seem to do better later in the week but for some reason I am a wreck Monday - Wednesday. Maybe because I was admitted on a thursday last time. I thought once I got past 26 weeks I would calm down, but it has just gotten scarier. I keep telling myself I have a different husband... it has been 9 years... I'm being treated for a clotting disorder that they didn't know about last time... it only took two months to get pregnancy vs 2 years the last time. I'm on meds for my crohn's.... This pregnancy is soooooo different... I have made it further then last time already, but that fear creeps back in... I don't want to be in a hospital all hooked up to machines, I don't want to have to go through the whole NICU thing and of course the thought of losing another baby is just to much. I think I'm going to tell the doctor that before and after the c-section i'm going to need meds to calm me down, but heart rate is going to go through the roof. It already gets over the 130s when I start thinking about all this stuff and start to panic.
Thanks for listening to me whine... it is so hard to talk to people that have never been there because they just don't get it. They keep telling me that I'm doing "fine" and I shouldn't worry... easy for them to say, that don't understand how this works. I'm fine this minute... and i'm grateful for that, but it is so scary to not know what your body is up to... what wheels have started turning since the day you got pregnant and what is going to happen next.
Val (34) & Carlos (32)
Married: April 29th 2011
Veronica Rosina, 11/25/2004-11/27/2004
Born at 26.5 weeks (1 lb 4oz, 14 inches) because of severe preeclampsia (doc says I was on my way to HELLP but not there yet)
Nicholas Robert, 11/22/2013 7 lb 7oz 19.5 inches, born at 36 weeks (due to previous classical c-section) PE FREE!!!!!!