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Curious if anyone else has experienced this

Are you pregnant again after having preeclampsia once already in a previous pregnancy? Post your thoughts/concerns here - there are others who share your feelings. This is also the home of our Bedrest Buddies Support group.

Curious if anyone else has experienced this

Postby ashleyhae » Mon Nov 11, 2013 06:43 pm

by ashleyhae (17 Posts), Mon Nov 11, 2013 06:43 pm

So I am 9 weeks pregnant today. My partner and I chose to get pregnant again after losing our daughter after being delivered 11 weeks early due to severe preeclampsia. I know that everyone grieves differently but now that I'm pregnant he won't talk about it. He doesn't want to tell anyone 'until he's ready' and is even scared to attend appointments or look at ultrasound pictures. I understand he's terrified, I am too but it will be a long road if he doesn't jump on! I know he's pumped and wants this baby just as much as I do, but this is not what I was expecting from him....
Ashley
Mommy to Malia born March 15, 2013 at 29 weeks due to severe preeclampsia.
She spent 2 precious days with us that we will forever cherish.
Baby #2 due 6/16/14
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Re: Curious if anyone else has experienced this

Postby MomTimesThree » Tue Nov 12, 2013 00:32 am

by MomTimesThree (559 Posts), Tue Nov 12, 2013 00:32 am

Grief seems to hit everyone differently. I think our partners are doubly hit when we get pregnant again by feeling helpless- especially in the face of not only a rocky pregnancy for baby, but also for our health.

Maybe asking him to set mini goals of his readiness? Like at 12 weeks he'll attend an appointment or something. It is scary, but I also think meeting face to face with the care team (for him) can help ease fears. You can even give your team a heads up that he's coming to the appointment so they can know to give him plenty of time to air questions and concerns.

Sending healthy thoughts your guys way!
Lauren
2008-Our Baby Girl, PTL born too early at 30w6d, Fought so hard... Forever Loved & Missed
2010- Lil' Bro, Pre-E at 29 weeks... Induced at 36w6d, Born 37w
2012- Lil' Sis, Super-imposed pre-e at 25 weeks, PTL & GD at 35 weeks, Evicted 36w
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Re: Curious if anyone else has experienced this

Postby caryn » Sun Nov 17, 2013 12:35 am

by caryn (10111 Posts), Sun Nov 17, 2013 12:35 am

I think it's very normal to treat these pregnancies as tentative - and at the same time, the pregnant women aren't really in a position to be able to do that, because we *have* to go to the appointments, so...

It's hard to believe that the statistics are on your side, when you were on the wrong side of the statistics last time. I know lots of MFMs say that you're not really paranoid because they really *are* out to get you.

Sorry I don't have a lot of helpful suggestions, and can only say "Yes, this is normal and I see it from posters quite often!"
Science! The articles you don't want to miss:
The Preeclampsia Puzzle (New Yorker) and Silent Struggle: A New Theory of Pregnancy (New York Times)
Looking for recent articles and studies? Lectures from researchers?
A chance to participate in research? For us on Facebook or Twitter?

Caryn, @carynjrogers, who is not a doctor and who talks about science stuff *way* too much
DS Oscar born by emergent C-section at 34 weeks for fetal indicators, due to severe PE
DD Bridget born by C-section after water broke at 39 weeks after a healthy pregnancy
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Re: Curious if anyone else has experienced this

Postby ashleyhae » Fri Dec 06, 2013 02:50 pm

by ashleyhae (17 Posts), Fri Dec 06, 2013 02:50 pm

My brother and his wife had their baby over thanksgiving and she was perfect! I think meeting her helped Ken see the joy in my brother and get a little more excited about our little Jelly Bean. He hasn't attended an appointment yet but agreed to go to the next one or the one after, which ever I choose. And he was grinning looking at the 12 week US pics as I was telling him baby was doing squats off my uterine wall. He has also decided he wants to wait until birth to find out gender like my brother after seeing their surprise and excitement he wants to experience it too. Which I am ok with, I think lol
Ashley
Mommy to Malia born March 15, 2013 at 29 weeks due to severe preeclampsia.
She spent 2 precious days with us that we will forever cherish.
Baby #2 due 6/16/14
ashleyhae
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Posts: 17
Joined: Wed Sep 11, 2013 01:40 am


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