I have been contemplating this post for several days. It is not that I have anything against this list; in fact, I greatly appreciate everyone that is here and the previous fellowship that I have felt here. No, it is the admitting the situation to myself. Somehow this post makes it official.
My wife (who is also on the forums) is pregnant again. For those who missed last season, we have 5 children and every pregnancy has involved PIH/Pre-e. Furthermore, my wife's care was handled very poorly last time and she went into an eclamptic seizure while in the hospital on bed rest.
So I am going to come right out and say it ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ I am both excited and scared as *. I love my wife and the children we have. I would love to have one more, but after the last pregnancy, I am seriously afraid that she is going to die or suffer permanent crippling damage during this pregnancy.
I have almost no faith left in our healthcare system.
So what am I to do? IÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢ll tell you ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ I am to be the champion of her pregnancy. Last time, I thought that everything would be fine once I got her in the hospital for surely they would take good care of her in the hospital. I was wrong. I can not trust anyone with my wifeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s care, and it is not my job to trust them. It is my job to love her and protect her to the best of my ability ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ and that is what I am going to do.
It is still very early in the pregnancy, but I am already gearing up for interviewing the OBs. We donÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢t want the ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œwait and seeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â doctor ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ we want the ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã…â€œletÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s get that baby outÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã‚Â doctor. My plan that I have in my head is to sit down with my wife and the OBs, talk about a plan of care, and ask a lot of darn questions (loudly if required) anytime there is a deviation from that agreed to plan. Again, while there might be good individual doctors out there, my wife and unborn child will be in the same system that almost killed my wife and last child the last time around. I can not trust the system regardless of the doctor or even the hospital being different.
I feel that my wifeÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s condition was never taken seriously in any of the 5 previous births until it got so bad that lives were on the line. I want them to be taken seriously from day one this time around ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â‚¬Å“ even if I have to be a jerk.
It is sad that it has come to this. It is sad that I am going into this pregnancy happy, but also so afraid that an uncaring system that is overworked and under-supervised is going to kill that most important person in my life. I am trying to let go of those emotions because that just makes me angry and does not lead anywhere productive. Those are feelings I am sure I will be venting here on the list.
So, now that I have ranted and rambled, where should I start? What research do I need to read up on since last January? Should we pursue daily Hepren shots or not? How aggressive should I be upfront with the OB? Any other advice?
Are you worried about your partners pregnancy? Has your partner already had preeclampsia? Do you have advice for other dads who could be going through similar experiences as yourself? Post here!
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